Uncultured Kaiser

wet vaginas frighten me.

[Uncultured Kaiser @MayhemKaiser]

Are you my homework? Cause I’m not doing you, but, I definitely should be.

[Tinder India @Tinder_India]

In celebration of #SinglesDay feel free to hit on me 🥰

[LakeShowYo @LakeShowYo]

Knicks fans are insane 😭😭😭

“My Mayor is Muslim, my bagel is Jewish, my Christian’s Dior… Knicks in 4!!!”

[riskmaxxing @riskmaxxing]

mfs born between 1996-2003 who spent their entire early 20’s loudly announcing they'd be rich by 30 are starting to do the math and its not adding up

[bbf🇸🇱 @Blackboyfly005]

imagine giving garnacho backshots and u see the joker staring into ur soul

[Avant Gardeners’ World @HeavyMogger]

It’s annoying how the first response to an erectile dysfunction is “it must be porn addiction” actually it’s because I don’t love you and you’ll never be her

[DECAGON @D3cagon]

According to my calculations as a full-time masturbator with over 9 years of field experience, no.

Let MT = Masturbation Time and SIT = Sexual Intercourse Time.

Given:
MT = 2 minutes.

Now, assuming you've been using lubricant and not operating under Sahara Desert conditions, your projected SIT should be somewhere between 37.5 and 48.2 seconds.

Why?

Because your equation is missing several important variables:

• Woman Wetness (WW)
• Vaginal Grip (VG)
• Heat Multiplier (HM)
• Adrenaline Coefficient (AC)
• "Omo, this thing is actually happening" Factor (OTHIAHF)

After applying these variables to the Decagon Formula, your time reduces significantly.

However...

If you've been doing dry-hand training all these years, then the shock of warmth, wetness, and the fact that another human being is involved may reduce your SIT to approximately 19.6–25.7 seconds.

Therefore:

MT = 2 minutes (with lubricant)
→ SIT = 37.5–48.2 seconds

MT = 2 minutes (dry hand)
→ SIT = 19.6–25.7 seconds.

Yours sincerely,

DECAGON
BSc. Applied Masturbation Mathematics (AMM)
Department of Theoretical Ejaculatory Physics

[Sam⋆☕︎ @Abhivridhi_Vani]

He looks like those kids who cosplay adults in flipkart ads

[Dassault Mirage F1 @pokke_inhaler]

the skirt must stay on during sex

[Anti @ANTllSM]

Which one is the Twitch CEO?

[Mike Phoenix ☭ @N7_PHOENIX]

@whimpermanence Should ask the fellas over at
r/smalldickproblems. This is brutal.

[Arc Trading @arctrading_io]

@Polymarket ozempic doing more for american truck emissions than any climate policy ever has

[Entierro de JOSU TERNERA Fan Account @Amiquemecontais]

Pero, ¿Quién está disparando a Trump? ¿Vinicius?

[Tereza Ann💙❤️ @ann_tereza]

"Yes ,Olise is better than Yamal"
Now sit down and watch Olise cook you

[𝑭𝒅𝒆𝒛 @fdezcfc]

Cuando le detectan cancer testicular a tu amigo y te rapas los huevos para mostrar respeto

[Abdulkadir | Cybersecurity @cyber_razz]

Cybersecurity professionals rn:

[Abhishek @be_mewadi]

Bro's first year as Delhi Capitals fan

[rwlk @sherlock_hodles]

Trump every time the S&P 500 drops more than a percent

[• @yducknow]

“I want a gf”, mfs when they see an incoming facetime for the fifth time today

[Justin🦩Boldaji @justinboldaji]

Telling everyone how impressive my first gay bareback orgy was