Maylis Burns

may like the month and lis like leasing a car, just your average girl who loves art and humor

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

My professor told us to draw tide pods today and then told us to draw grenades. Then he told us those both can kill us and to be wise #tidepodawarensss

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

You don’t get to be this funny of a person without experiencing generational level trauma

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

Unfortunately I’m the ex that’s randomly popping back up during the retrograde 😅

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

All Virgos cry on their birthdays, right?

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

My curse is that everyone who has lost me will always think of me when seeing the sun or moon

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

It’s fun and all saying you’re a hot mental health baddie but putting in the work to have that label is not 🤗 #hotgirlscry?

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

My Prozac is really putting in work today

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

Getting triggered by drops of Jupiter at work today was not how I expected my Wednesday morning to go

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

Am I doing better or worse if I started listening to Morgan Wallen again?

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

I’ll never forgive that man for ruining my favorite songs

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

Mark my words: documenting this now. 2026 IS the year I meet my husband

[hard feelings @thesadbaby]

today’s the only day you can rt this ✨

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

Going back to your ex is like eating pizza you left out overnight. It’s fine but it’s definitely not good for; proceed at your own risk.

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

Excellent news! Thanks for the update! 😄👍🏻(I’m emailing my therapist rn)

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

This tweet is so funny knowing he was my 2025 top artist

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

If anyone was wondering where to find me it’ll be crying to @MorganWallen ‘s new album

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

Wondering how I’ve started to get my spark back? I go to therapy twice a week and my psychiatrist twice a month! Hope that helps! ✨

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

And sometimes when I’m sad I talk to the moon because only they know what it’s like to shine bright in the darkness without being a star

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

Idk why but a man validating at the bar I’m hot when I have no makeup on fixes a lot of my internal problems

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

Drunk at a bar rereading my tweets: still funny. Still hot. Still iconic. Next question?

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

Everything I post on social media is for giggles, nothing I do is done with serious intent. If it’s like “omg she posted that?!” Its probably bc I thought that’s really funny and 1 friend said do it and I did without hesitation of others thoughts on it

[Maylis Burns @MaylisBurns]

I’m gonna become a nun if another man ruins my vibe