sutterpilled

#tradeanderson #firemaloney

[Aristo @aristomarinetti]

Being in love is lowkey one of the most effective motivations to improve your life which is why I’m in love with three different girls.

[Mikael @BacardiCapital]

A credit card but instead of cash back you get Touch Tune credits

[唯我独尊・宮内蛍 @real_hotaru]

Good morning

[Khalifa @saleskhalifa]

To be very clear

Sales exists so other roles in the company can click buttons on their keyboards and get paid for it

[🦷 @TheodoreTooth]

@JFreshHockey Have the traditional markets considered actually trying to ice a winning hockey team instead of signing washed vets with the intention of scraping into the first round?

I think the lesson to take from Vegas is that if you're serious about winning, people want to play for you.

[C of Red Central @CofRedCentral]

Connor McDavid, get ready to learn Huska Hockey buddy

[dalibali @dalibali2]

No doctor here but think all these findings on GLP1 are showing that being fat was even worse than previously thought

[Tom Austin @TFA303]

@owenbroadcast Trying to put your finger down the throat to induce vomiting in a toddler who has just swallowed an entire bottle of medicine and she can't stop giggling at your efforts.... peak gremlin behavior.

[internet.lol @UHD4000k]

@Son_ImSleep

[Allie ✞ @allie__voss]

Girl I follow on Instagram who said Sydney Sweeney’s jean commercial was “promoting eugenics” is now defending the down syndrome abortion couple

Do I tell her

[Otto Von Biz Markie @wittgenfine]

When I found out about toxoplasmosis I told my dad about it and then asked why we still had cats. He told me if I was worried about something cute giving me brain worms that caused increased aggression and impulsiveness wait till you find out about woman. A wise sage my father

[Anton ψ Dee @AntonDee_]

@owenbroadcast conspiracy theorist dies, goes to heaven and meets God.

God says 'Ask me one question and Ill tell you the truth'.

The man asks: Who shot JFK?

God answers: 'Lee Harvey Oswald and he acted alone'.

The conspiracy theorist mutters: 'Wow...this goes higher than I thought'.

[owen cyclops @owenbroadcast]

old joke: four rabbis are arguing doctrine. its 3 against 1. the odd one out asks God for a sign that he’s correct. it snows. the 3 dismiss it. it thunders. the 3 dismiss it. finally a voice calls from heaven, “hes right”. so one of the rabbis says: “alright, now its 3 against 2”

[Joseph 🕊️ @CaudilloXIV]

every nuclear physicist looked like this before woke

[Mike Bartner @MikeBartner]

Per sources: Benjamin Netanyahu will be in Vegas tomorrow at Game 4 to watch his favorite hockey team the Knights attempt to go up 3-1.

[𝖒𝖔𝖌𝖌𝖎𝖓𝖌 @wanted4mogging]

i want to chase her down naked in the forest like a feral beast and impregnate her under the moonlight but i can't do this because of bill gates alpha gal tick bioterrorism. this is why the birthrate is collapsing

[ol’ stocky ⛳️ @oldstocky]

Never let a job stop you from acting unemployed

[Mike Bartner @MikeBartner]

McDavid reportedly on board with the hiring

[Nissehatt @hekwoys]

Large group travel: IF WE DONT LEAVE THE HOSTEL BY 10:00 IM LIGHTING MYSELF ON FIRE AHHHHH

Small group travel: guys check out my beer mustache aha :)

Solo travel: I am the wretched refuse of the earth, cursed forever to wander with the mark of Cain blazing on my forehead