Lukeums

It's mostly hockey with a drizzle of poker, math, games, or some weird bs 🏒🍁 🦅🏈

[Lukeums @MCLuuuuke]

@mapleafs34 I would say 4-1 in game 7 but we're taking them out in 5 or 6 so 🤷

[Stop fuckin’ crying bro @TheOakLeafs]

@JudeLeafs Lol. Your fringe friend’s brother in law who hasn’t watched a full period of hockey in 15 years jamming his paw into the nacho plate saying “So are the leafs gunna choke again LOL”.

Shoot me in the fukn temple.

[Toronto Milky Leafs stan @AsTradition]

BREAKING: Generational talent John Tavares will not be representing the Montreal Canadiens at the All-Star game because the team was not granted an interview during the decision making process.

[William Nylander @wmnylander]

Going home

[The Book of Bo Bichette @Lonny_Bohonos]

If Zach Hyman and 1000 geese were in a park and someone threw a single piece of bread, Zach Hyman would come away with that bread.

[Lukeums @MCLuuuuke]

@Gbernie5 Are u playing

[Stop fuckin’ crying bro @TheOakLeafs]

Reporter: "Any personal goals this season?"

Matthews: "score 58 goals"

Reporter: "Wow that's.."

Matthews: 74 goals"

Reporter: "Wait, that's pretty..."

Matthews: "89 goals"

Reporter: ....

Matthews: ...

Reporter: ...

Matthews: ...

Reporter: ...

Matthews: "113 fukn goals"

[Rowan Roller Hockey @RURollerHockey]

Breaking News:
#YourMomsFavoriteTeam tryouts will be September 17th and 18th at 10pm and 11pm respectively

[Steve “Dangle” Glynn @Steve_Dangle]

The year is 2020. Half the world is The Athletic. The other half is weirdly specific Barstool Instagram accounts. The world ends, we all die. The Blackhawks still get an outdoor game. https://t.co/h3Lyvj0ZND

[Lukeums @MCLuuuuke]

@ECRHA_PA @ECRHAHockey @NCRHA_C2C @RURollerHockey i've had a basement for a week. Is it opening weekend yet?

[Stop fuckin’ crying bro @TheOakLeafs]

My eyesight isn’t that great but I’m pretty sure Kyle’s shirt reads: “I’m running shit now bitches - fuck everybody”

[The Pale Space Rider @truegritrumble]

DATE: I like your shirt.
ME: Well you can’t have it.

[Lukeums @MCLuuuuke]

@ECRHA_PA @RURollerHockey "reckless abandon" = "skates ugly AF but somehow not slow" 😂😂

[Stop fuckin’ crying bro @TheOakLeafs]

Matthews on playing with Marleau: “He’s an old fucker but can still wheel and has some mitts so yeah, let’s give’r”

[Mike Falzone @MikeFalzone]

Imagine being a regular-ass person and thinking you know more than a scientist about what the scientist studies.

[Lukeums @MCLuuuuke]

@ECRHA_PA "and a good sense of humor" is definitely the roller hockey equivalent of "she must have a great personality"

[Avril @AvrilBenchimol]

Just one word:scary. Red-hot planet: All-time heat records have been set all over the world during the past week #ActOnClimate #wedonthavetime https://t.co/ayilO4AFZP