Micky Redbeard

I'm a ginger beard man. I love puns, whiskey, and dirty jokes. Please don't take twitter too seriously.

[Micky Redbeard @McRedScruff]

It doesn't matter how loud you say fuck. It won't fix your life's problems.

But you can completely startle an entire room of people doing Yoga.

[Micky Redbeard @McRedScruff]

Fuck it. I felt good this morning.

[Micky Redbeard @McRedScruff]

@Jane_Doe82 @MOOK_XC

[Micky Redbeard @McRedScruff]

Let's have a spicy weekend of having sex and doing mad libs.

[Micky Redbeard @McRedScruff]

@Jane_Doe82 So, I've realized recently Rainbow Connection sounds like the rantings a conspiracy theorist.

"So we've been told, and some choose to believe it. I know they're wrong. Wait and see."

[Brunette Bohemian @Jane_Doe82]

First date idea: you sit awkwardly next to me while I cry during Kermit’s rendition of “rainbow connection”

[Micky Redbeard @McRedScruff]

Earlier week me bought frozen chimichangas.

Thanks earlier week me!

[Micky Redbeard @McRedScruff]

What do you call a rude fungus?

A Shit-Talky Mushroom

[Micky Redbeard @McRedScruff]

Not kink shaming.. but I don't understand foot obsessions. Like, do you know how dirty feet are!?

[Micky Redbeard @McRedScruff]

Can I use my HSA to pay for an emotional support milkshake?

[Micky Redbeard @McRedScruff]

I'm up!!

But, it's more taming my sciatica so I can go back to sleep.

[Brunette Bohemian @Jane_Doe82]

Who up who writin feisty political tweets

[Micky Redbeard @McRedScruff]

My kink is making someone feel valued.

[Micky Redbeard @McRedScruff]

@Jane_Doe82 And how much money does the town spend on its hospital?

[Micky Redbeard @McRedScruff]

Woman: My dog has become aggressive towards men.

Lesbian friend: Same.

[Micky Redbeard @McRedScruff]

@ivana014777 Clever!

[Micky Redbeard @McRedScruff]

Friends: You're so awesome!

Me: Hell yeah!

My brain: But, am I?

[kim @KimmyMonte]

did it hurt? when the email didn’t find you well

[Micky Redbeard @McRedScruff]

@smileitsfree44 And the song Shadowboxer by Fiona Apple is about a woman who starts getting into crafts.

[Micky Redbeard @McRedScruff]

Why else keep a scale in your bathroom if you don't weigh yourself before and after pooping?

[Micky Redbeard @McRedScruff]

You're in her DMS.

I'm in the cereal isle deciding between cinnamon toast crunch and golden grams.

We are not the same.