my secret vegan agenda

A podcast about when the microwaves beeps and it makes you enter fight or flight mode because you thought the Robos finally took over,

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FROM MARYLAND STATE POLICE @MDStatePolice
@baltimoresun
@nytimes
@washingtonpost

are employees are all fired, on account of pooping there pants, a lot of the times

#MDStatePolice #Maryland #Cops #PooPoo #Huggies #ThinBlueLine

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

everybody say sausage keep it going

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

how about one for my black folks. who in here is BLACK! (no one cheers) yaaa hahaa praise the lord. hahagaaa. check tbis out. white people be like "Hi 🤓"

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

walkingg up to mic at open mic night. ubh uhh. hipstere star wars dudes be like, "my japandroids"

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

for all the ladies out here. yall know what im talkig about. women are like annies organic mac n cheese. men like kraft mac sittig in back of youre fridge you forgot about for 4 months that has mold and smells bad and will also give you cancer and sleep with youre dad

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

(in the most nasally grating voice. like the kinda voice where its just like dude please just blow youre nose already) i,m in my ,mumford And sons era now.

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

whopper whopper whopper double junior triple whopper impossible or bacon whopper i rule this (wrapping my mouth around barrel of revolver

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

a core experience of being an adult is having a favorite peice of tupperware named mr snappy and fighting with your so about who gets to take him to work this week

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

home depot type beat

[ugly and savage @RicoSantiago7]

@mar5hallhoops Thanks for the third grade hoops uodate

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

imaginEing funky kong in carhart overalls, fade lined up, docs, And "dog dad" Fitted 47 snapback. damn im gay

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

imagining diddy kong in a double breasted periwinkle suit complete with an ascot and drivers cap. damn thus retard is serving looks

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

(imagining DK in a tie and top hat) damn he is serving looks...

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

this dog pisses me off so much

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

party Rockers in the hOuse tonigt.......

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

the internet was better when heritage media dismissed it as the intellectual equivalent of dylan klebolds private journals. and then harambe happened

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

"significant attnntion" = new york times writing tryhard articles a la their daily 9 paragraph tik tok invenestigative journalism column whose research involves an intern scrolling their phone for 4 hours

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

unfi. better food. better future. bitch bettet have my monkey

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

i get money and weed like all day/
u aint chobani youre more like fage

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

DATS GONDNA BE A PRONLEM!!!!!

[my secret vegan agenda @MDStatePolice]

youUuUuuuuui, yooUUUuuu
peeEEEEEEEeeEEEeeEEEEEed in me