StabbyAbby

[StabbyAbby @MeDoComedy]

My girlfriend and I saw you across the infinite void of space and time and we really dig your vibe.

[StabbyAbby @MeDoComedy]

Hey Mr. Sleep Paralysis Demon, how bout you parala MY ASS!

[StabbyAbby @MeDoComedy]

It me, a hardened veteran of the Pizza Wars. I’m on my 5th tour.

[Jamie “hubie halloween fan” Carbone @AJamieCarbone]

Anime would be so much shorter if every dude didn't explain how their powers worked. Dawg I do not want a monologue about how you can teleport your individual limbs into my body just kill me

[StabbyAbby @MeDoComedy]

@lydiawomanning Babaganoosh = Funny
Pomegranate = Sexy

[StabbyAbby @MeDoComedy]

@zachdietsch Yes, yes I do.

[StabbyAbby @MeDoComedy]

Crazy to think we have analytics and it used to just be some guy who knew the vibe.

[bread @brettmercer_]

I’m a sympath. Can’t help but feel bad for all of you

[StabbyAbby @MeDoComedy]

@lydiawomanning Gross

[StabbyAbby @MeDoComedy]

This morning I put on sock, underwear, sock, so today is gonna be a weird one.

[StabbyAbby @MeDoComedy]

@TotesBroDog @PallaviGunalan Are you telling me I couldn’t spread COVID if I caught it? Well shit that’s awesome, thank you. I’m gonna get right back to doing shows. You really saved me from having to care about how my actions could harm others.

[StabbyAbby @MeDoComedy]

Thank god I don’t give enough of a shit about Wordles to even figure out what they are.

[StabbyAbby @MeDoComedy]

How do you tell someone on the MAX that the music they are blasting on their shitty speakers sucks ass without starting a confrontation?

[StabbyAbby @MeDoComedy]

@jamieloftusHELP Uhm, bad news.

[StabbyAbby @MeDoComedy]

@jamieloftusHELP Ok.

[StabbyAbby @MeDoComedy]

Another gender swapped movie come out.
Bro: My mancestors wouldn’t have stood for this and neither will I!

[i can be your long lost pal @PallaviGunalan]

terrible comedians performing in unsafe conditions at the peak of the pandemic is the funniest thing they’ve ever done

[StabbyAbby @MeDoComedy]

So cases of COVID are spiking 5 days after New Years. None of ya’ll stayed home huh, everybody had to go party. If that was you I hope you can never taste champagne again.

[StabbyAbby @MeDoComedy]

Has anyone explained to Joe Biden he’s the President now and not the Vice President? Somebody tell his he can actually do things that matter now, I don’t think he knows.