Jeremy Clarkson made £144 farming a thousand acres in his first year.
In year six he lost five thousand.
His own words to his land agent: dispiriting enough to clear a hundred and forty-four quid at the start, and here we are six years on, down five grand. The harvest had been projected at thirty-seven thousand profit. Weather and prices took it.
Now look at what that thousand acres has behind it that yours does not.
One of the best land agents in the country. A farm manager who has worked that ground since he was a teenager. A farm shop with a queue down the lane, a pub, bestselling books, more than a quarter of a million in subsidy across three years, and a television production paying for the entire thing to be filmed.
It is the most commercially advantaged thousand acres in Britain, and the farming still loses money.
That figure should end every conversation about British agriculture, and it is the one number that never makes it onto a campaign graphic. Not the glyphosate. Not the pig housing. The margin.
Because everything people object to on a farm grows straight out of it. The field pushed to the very edge. The hedge that came out because the government paid to have it removed. The shed instead of the yard. The supermarket contract signed below cost because the alternative was no contract. Nobody intensified out of malice. They were priced into it over sixty years by a policy that decided cheap groceries mattered more than a countryside, and by a retail sector that kept the difference.
Britain now grows around sixty per cent of its own food. More than a third of British farmers are past sixty-five.
The man with the Amazon cheque cannot make a thousand acres pay.
The seventy-year-old with three hundred and no film crew is doing it anyway, and being told by people who have never sold a tonne of anything that he is the problem.
"See? Gears of War was always about depression!"
Depression from watching your species being driven to extinction, not depression because the wizard book author disagreed with you one time.