Melissa Heiman

Sometimes I share my thoughts.

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

The combo of @SteveKornacki’s rust-khaki pants & Brian Williams’ dependable striped ties make for a palatable four day election marathon. @11thHour @MSNBC #Election2020results

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

@latifnasser Latif Nasser only has very cool shirts. #connectednetflix

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

@vivi_acnh Love your island! Do you have the design codes for the amazing hats/pies?

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

Every middle-upper class tv family always has fresh sandwich ingredients at the ready.

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

Never have I ever been this stressed AND this moved AND this scared as I am watching #CastleRock right now. #whenarewe

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

@yeahlikethecat It’s up to you and you alone to carry this torch

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

@yeahlikethecat This is my new favorite bit.

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

Look if you tell me to pretend I have a phone in an audition, I’m going to pretend that phone has bad service because of #TMobile and doesn’t get reception. #methodimprov

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

@MrMichaelLovato @SJYeocero I now realize that I’ve been blinded by pro-shed rhetoric, causing me to question what I’ve always known is true. Once a creepy shed always a creepy shed!

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

Summer 2018 TV tropes include creepy sheds and more creepy sheds. #castlerock #SharpObjects

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

Anybody else tired of their sebaceous filaments?

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

Why are there only two detectives per fictional town?

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

@NickBerget @potproblemcast Oh I’ll get it. Just you wait.

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

I was in the middle of ordering Postmates but now I feel like I should order an earthquake kit. #earthquakeLA

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

Nate Berkus is shopping AT #TARGET right now. WHAT IS HAPPENING

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

@yeahlikethecat Also these are important facts to share from my life. My new obsession is your fault.

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

@yeahlikethecat Sowwwwwwy

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

If ever I want to look at an ex's Instagram, I go to Justin Theroux's account instead. #neverfails #justintheroux

[Melissa Heiman @MelissaHeiman]

@yeahlikethecat I did. It was unfulfilling.