Melanie Card

gotta. love. Mellons.

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

@KayleighShae Did you mentally punch them in the face?!

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

What if the cure to #corona is just lime? Lots and lots of lime. #dadjokes #mainsqueeze

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

When you’re already having the worst of mornings and your @TooFaced compact smashes on the floor. #HappyFriday

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

@KayleighShae But you will boo boo. You got this 🏡🙏🏻❤️

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

I love the south, everyone is so nice. I don’t know if it’s genuine or not but I’ll take it #NorthCarolina

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

Why is it still always surprising when the continental breakfast sucks?! #traveling #saleslady #hungry

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

Whatever they call that space between so tired but so much on the mind you can’t sleep...I’m there. #needsleep

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

#NewProfilePic

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

I just want a cheese plate. But I’m in McDonald’s and Olive Garden country #FirstWorldProblems

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

Nail technician: “If it feel ouch, you say “ouch!” Thank you for that #nailsalon #beautifulnail

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

@_Nathan_21 What kinda bed thoughhh?!

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

Does @Target have direct deposit? Asking for a friend 😂

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

Sometimes when I’m on the road, I think, this would be much easier if I was a man or if I had a smaller blatter and then I think in this day both of those choices are probably just as viable in the world today... #notsorry

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

One thing the world cannot prepare you for dealing with crazy mothers of small children #lordhelpme #wow

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

Sleeping in the car is simply selecting which side of your neck you want to hurt more #roadtrip

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

Nothing throws me into a #FirstWorldProblems tizzy quicker than @waze telling me it can’t calculate my route

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

If diabetes has a taste it is certainly @dunkindonuts cookies and cream cappuccino 😳

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

My body type: sometimes rice cakes, sometimes cupcakes 🧁 #balance

[Melanie Card @MellMellons]

Not wrong. https://t.co/R1r6cqpxPm