Reg Melton

[LaughBreak: Dad Jokes ‘N More @MediocreJoker85]

Harold got really drunk one night, Ubered home, and quietly slipped into bed beside his wife.

The next thing he knew, he was standing at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter looked at him and said, “I’m afraid you died in your sleep, Harold.”

Harold was stunned. “I died? That can’t be right! I’ve got too much to live for. Please, send me back!”

St. Peter sighed. “I’m sorry, Harold, but there’s only one way you can return. You’ll have to be reincarnated as a chicken.”

Harold wasn’t thrilled, but he begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.

The next thing he knew, he was covered in feathers, clucking, and pecking at the ground.

A rooster strutted over.

“So, you’re the new hen, huh? How’s your first day going?”

“Not bad,” Harold replied. “But I have this strange feeling inside me, like I’m about to explode.”

“That’s an egg,” explained the rooster. “Don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before.”

“Never,” said Harold.

“Well, just relax and let it happen. It’s not a big deal.”

Harold relaxed, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg.

He was overcome with emotion. He had never experienced anything like it. He soon laid another egg, and his joy was overwhelming.

Just as he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head. Harold opened his eyes to find his wife standing over him.

“HAROLD! WAKE UP! You soiled the bed!”

[Paul Wood @paul_wood91]

First trip driving @DalesBus 874 since my holiday, treated to one of the painted Evoras again, lovely day up in Wharfedale!

[RAF Leeming @RAF_Leeming]

Rounding off our very busy week with a beautiful jet and a beautiful sunset. Who would want to be anywhere else? Happy Friday! ✈️😍

[ShaunfromDurham 🇬🇧 @ShaunfromDurham]

Available to pre-order now, my 2025 Calendar is under way with deliveries aimed before Christmas!

£12 with profits going to @GNairambulance, get in touch to reserve one! I have some great photos lined up for this one 😎

Reposts appreciated to spread the word!

[New Sensations @newsensations]

It's been a long time cumming for hotwife Elisa Bethann

👉 https://t.co/CrxO8dEujY

[Georgey Spanswick @spanswicktweets]

A little something in the ⁦@yorkshirepost⁩ this morning. Thank you ⁦⁦@TealeVroom⁩ … how I loved that moggy minor ♥️

[Reg Melton @MeltonReg]

@DavidHawkshaw @Aditiya_renee @Phil_Lewis_ @javeauriel True

[Reg Melton @MeltonReg]

@AnneShazzie @EpicDuckDoctor Sounds about right!

[Hells Bells @LadyMontyA350]

@katherinealee Ah but it’s not….. @Vanillapilotlhr and I rock the skirt!

[Benjamin Pearson “Interceptor” @bs_pearson]

If this gets 100 retweets, Ill randomly select 2 people for a free book each. Merry Christmas #HandcuffedEmotions

[Reg Melton @MeltonReg]

@AirlineFlyer @AlaskaAir @BoeingAirplanes @JFKairport @SeaTacAirport M

[Kay Crewdson @kcrewders]

When I rang my mate Steve Bailey last year and said mate I’m sad and I’m not sure what to do other than talk about it I never thought our little Reg would go on to be an international… https://t.co/O69sfHSXAX

[Plaxton @Plaxtoncoach]

Delighted to hand over the new Plaxton Panorama double deck coach to Paul Acklam of @acklams today. It's a stunning high capacity touring coach with 87 seats and lots of flexibility built in. Thanks for the repeat business and we can't wait to see the Panorama out on the road!

[Reg Melton @MeltonReg]

Samsung debuts new smartphone for ESN https://t.co/yWwAwH85km via @999editor

[Account not in use @PhilVickersLP]

GREAT video from @metpoliceuk illustrating the Police use of Body Worn Video

https://t.co/5S3WURE9BR via @youtube

[Reg Melton @MeltonReg]

Opening Times | Nunnington Hall | National Trust https://t.co/eAnkfyDL3t