Meri Ballance

I am the Superwoman, o yeah. I am the best woman. Superman does not mean anything.

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

"Nothing is more expensive than a missed opportunity." - H. Jackson Brown

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

"Seriously, is that what I look like?" - robot watching a guy 'doing the robot'

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

How long until this adult thing is over?

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

Wanna have sex? Breathe for yes, lick your elbow for no.

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

rt if you wish to be a mermaid

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

'I' before 'E' especially after 'P'. Mmmm pie

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you're nuts.

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

It's not pretty being easy.

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

I've completely cocooned myself in this blanket, and I'm not coming out until I'm a fully functional adult or a butterfly.

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

A dog made out of diamonds is everyone's best friend.

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, and Whitney Houston, now we have no jobs, no cash, Houston we have a problem

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

You can't just give me attention then randomly stop wtf.

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. George Bernard Shaw

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

The ultimate home security system is having shitty stuff.

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.....

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

"Whosoever desires constant success must change his conduct with the times." - Niccolo Machiavelli

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

When are we going to change "til death do us part" to "for the next five years" ?

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

Ladies, the word for the day is "legs." Spread the word.

[Meri Ballance @MeriBallance]

If there's another explanation for my gray hairs other than I'm turning into a polar bear, I don't want to hear it. Don't ruin this for me.