Thought Iโll never go through postpartum but shit been hitting lately . Not even about my baby itโs about myself and how I want to better my life . Being a mother makes me wanna go 10x harder . ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐ช
Shit got me thinking Iโm a failure everyday man . Iโm stressed , and me having a wreck didnโt do nothing but cause more depression and sadness in my life .
Since I graduated Iโve been depressed, wasnโt even happy when I got my diploma. I get more depressed day by day , crying wondering why my life like this when I did everything right .
Canโt believe Iโm going through this . Graduate college and I canโt even get a job in my degree . I have to start over from scratch literally shit hurts man.
Itโs weird to me how ppl donโt believe youโre a loner just because youโre pretty โฆI donโt entertain just anyone, Iโm not friends with just anyone , and not everyone cares about my well being. Of course I keep to myself. Iโm available to those who actually have my best interest.
Everybody wanna talk about healing but donโt nobody wanna talk about how easy it is to relapse. To pick yourself back up when you crumble all over again. Thatโs the hardest part.
I smoke a blunt & really stop giving a Fuck about shit! I be in the middle of venting & hit the blunt & be like โyeah but Fuck that shitโ๐ญ & that be the last time I discuss it ๐ฅด๐ญ