Jesus Christ

I am the son of man and the son of God. (I can also build a mean cabinet)

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

Hey everyone, I’m back!!

ME! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE??

#JesusChrist

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

@KTHopkins Wow, @KTHopkins, just WOW. I just came upon you. You don’t even TRY to hide White supremacist thoughts. You seriously are gross. I mean it. Not even joking. I spent years traveling with 12 other dudes & I saw A TON of gross, but your kind of gross is on another level. #gross

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

@ExmuslimsOrg @CorbeauxInvest My child, your hatred & fear of Muslims is incredibly lame. Do you think that finding random videos of crazy Muslim preachers on the internet proves that the Muslim faith is “crazy?” Take a look at these gems...all in MY name:https://t.co/6jSxINzG52 . CRAZY is not bound by FAITH.

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

@KatiePavlich @benshapiro (3/3) so, yeah, @benshapiro , you will not be getting an invite to the eternal sleepover at my dad’s house when you croak. We just have a “No dicks allowed” policy up here.

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

@KatiePavlich @benshapiro (2/2) If u bothered 2 do an ounce of research,@benshapiro, you’d know that this story makes ZERO sense & has zero facts behind it..I’m sure you know all this & just dont care b/c the fire of hatred & fear MUST be stoked in order for u to make money.THAT is why u are such a dick.

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

@KatiePavlich @benshapiro (1/2)This is why you’re a worthless prick, @benshapiro. - you’re a smart dude who pedals in these bullshit conspiracy theories for the sole purpose of getting a rise out of the mindless base you represent.

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

@realDonaldTrump I can’t even imagine how small your penis must be to act like such a f-ing idiot. You and Judas. Such small penises. #Jesus #SmallPenis

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

Welcome home #45. Sad day for all. #HeavenBound #TylerSkaggs

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

My children. I’m new to town & a bit confused.We have immigration LAWS,do we not?Aren’t we to ENFORCE our laws?

As I said to the Hebrews back in 27 AD, “you are welcome in my home,just come in the FRONT DOOR,so I can protect & feed all that are sleeping over”
#Jesus #immigration

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

@charliekirk11 (2/2)
3.)N. Korea’s 1st Nuclear test in ‘06.Obama became Pres in ‘09
4.)Pentagon reports 499
Civilians killed by drone strikes in ‘17.That’s 5x the # (in Mr. Trump’s 1st yr) that you claim Obama had over his 8

Facts are hard.

I died for your sins,so cut the shit!
#Jesus #Maga

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

@charliekirk11 (1/2) Also THIS:

1.) ISIS was created in 1999.

2.) Bengazzi was a TERRORIST ATTACK. Shall I list all the terrorist attacks since 2017 when your beloved took office?

More—

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

@charliekirk11 Let’s start here: https://t.co/8sSLMmN8jT -If that isn’t enough for you,I can show you a list of what he says about minorities & if that isn’t enough,I can show you a list of every single tweet in which he bullies and name calls..You,sir,are an idiot. #Jesus #Maga #Delusional

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

....minus that stupid fucking hat.
#Jesus #Maga

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

I never said this. I’m not saying I WOULDN’T, just saying that I didn’t. Also, I look gooooood in that pic. #Jesus #Maga #funny

[Janey Godley @JaneyGodley]

@KHodgess Sure

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

I call plagiarism! I made this exact speech to the Pharisees in 28 AD!
#Jesus #Bible #funny

[Jerry Falwell @JerryFalwellJr]

@drmoore Who are you @drmoore ? Have you ever made a payroll? Have you ever built an organization of any type from scratch? What gives you authority to speak on any issue? I’m being serious. You’re nothing but an employee- a bureaucrat.

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

@imteddybless @KHodgess I can confirm that we do, indeed, have Nintendogs up here. #Jesus #Heaven #nintendo

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

I’m assuming,at this point,you realize what a fucking idiot you are for tweeting such an ignorant, factually devoid statement.But, on a positive note,I’m here to tell you that if you repent & learn the error of your ways,there will be a place in the kingdom for you #Jesus #idiot

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

@KHodgess @jake_neidert Ugh. You know nothing of my work. The only “sin” here is that you have the mind of an indoctrinated lost soul. I can assure you, every person on that list will get into my house before your judgemental ass does.
#Jesus #Ignorant

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

@rejectedjokes @STUBERmovie @kumailn No, my son, It’s an awful trailer. THOUGH SHALL NOT LIE, Ben, remember!?! #Stuber #JesusChrist

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

I’m the most compassionate man on earth and even I think this is stupid! https://t.co/Ka40IAqIyN #JesusChrist #CatholicTwitter #Funny

[Jesus Christ @Messiah_JC]

WAKE UP, MY CHILDREN. #JesusChrist #Weed https://t.co/vcWuaFD8U6