meyer

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

The couples that are meant to be, are the ones who go through everything that is meant to tear them apart, and come out even stronger.

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

What hurts more than losing you is knowing you're not fighting to keep me.

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

Be with someone who brings out the best in you, not the stress in you..

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

LMAOSHIFOTTAASALOTF: Laughing my ass off so hard I fell of the toilet and accidentally shit a little on the floor.

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow.

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

What does caps lock and a mens' prison have in common? They can make your "o" turn into "O"

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

YOLO backwards is OLOY, "Only Losers Obey Yolo"

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

To Do List : 1: Buy 4 Pigs 2: Paint numbers 1,2,3 and 5 on their backs 3: Release them in Wal-Mart. 4: Sit back watch Security search for #4

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

My gf's a magician. She can turn anything into an argument.

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

Why do people ask "What were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain.

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

I'm still missing my ex, but my aim is getting better :)

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

How come when your wife is pregnant, people rub her tummy and say "congratulations" but no one rubs your balls and says, "good job"?

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

Even though I try to deny it, at the end of the day, you're still on my mind.

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

While taking a test: My answer's no, "If your answer's no, explain why." Okay never mind. My answer's yes.

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

Boy: If I make you say no, will you go out with me? Girl: Sure. Why not. Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Wait yes. No! Wait.. Ahhhh

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

My Girlfriend Said She's Leaving Me For Another Guy Because I Am Too Obsessed With Football. So I Asked, 'On Loan Or On Transfer?

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

This movie isn't even scary!" "Based on a true story." Oh sh!t!

[meyer @meyer9C9U9T]

(Hide & seek with friends) I HAVE THE BEST HIDING SPOT EVER, THEY WIll NEVER FIND ME! (4 seconds later).... I have to pee....