megan

i’m just so scared all the time honestly

[paige : mh3 enjoyer @gandalfsoda]

whoever is the owner of the white sudan, you left your lights on

[it’s me @godlikemind]

Has anybody noticed that Oppenheimer is low key dark and edgy af while Barbie is lighthearted and fun, making for a playful dichotomy at the box offices

[megan @MgnGrv]

Happy Father’s Day everyone

[megan @MgnGrv]

Every time I ever see a scary bug in the bathroom it’s always when I’m already undressed. Every. Time.

[megan @MgnGrv]

Business idea: cat café by day, cat bar at night. no loud music, chill vibes only, cute drinks and cats

[megan @MgnGrv]

I never know what to do when someone I’m standing next to laughs at something on their phone. Do you want me to ask what you laughed at? Do you want me to act like you didn’t laugh?

[Serinide @serinide]

i know it would be deeply unethical but hear me out. imagine having a baby and only interacting with it in the form of a humorous bit. that baby would either be a master comedian or deeply traumatized. and i think i'm willing to take that risk

[megan @MgnGrv]

Regular cards against humanity has too many cum jokes. The family edition has too many poop jokes

[megan @MgnGrv]

@qtcinderella Cat

[megan @MgnGrv]

I need multiple screens in front of me because the first one is what you put on to distract the children so that the adults can get to work

[kt 🧦 @BITCHCASSlDY]

you have to be a whole other level of gay and religiously traumatised to recognise this location

[bela🦦ceo of pjhazel @butchrqueen]

made me blush, giggle and kick my feet fr

[george watsky @gwatsky]

5 years ago, thinking about how disposable art's become, I wondered how l could tell a bigger story.

I worked with my friend Bernie on a titling algorithm. I thought it'd be a throwaway experiment. Instead I made 3 albums.

I've been waiting a long time to see these together.

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

Midwesterners when the temperature is above 40°

[megan @MgnGrv]

He used to be able to smell your breath and tell you what you ate for dinner a week ago, but then he got Covid and had a temp of ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY FOUR DEGREES and lost it

[megan @MgnGrv]

I’m training this kid who’s a compulsive liar today 😂 he told me he got cross faded and his personalities split and he had to have a meeting with himself to reestablish hierarchy

[megan @MgnGrv]

The idea of eating always sounds so good, then I start putting food in my mouth and I wanna die no texture is good anymore

[megan @MgnGrv]

Every time I gotta pay for something I become a little bit more unstable

[megan @MgnGrv]

Saw M3GAN tonight and she’s kind of a horror icon ? slay🔪