Daquiri Zachary

just a mud man from the bowels of Syracuse

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

The lady doing the A’s play by play has done a tremendous job improving her home run calls this season. Feel like that needs to be recognized.

[MLB @MLB]

LAWRENCE BUTLER, THREE-HOMER GAME TO TIE IT 💪

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

At this point my only chances of leaving a legacy that isn’t accomplished by my seeds is either

A) continue to get better cooking and end up high profile somehow

Or

B) become known as that guy that scream sings love songs with my windows down through westvale after shifts

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

This might be a weird first tweet in a while but it came up today, I’ve been debilitatingly horny most of my teenage/ adult life and still never even thought about fucking a tube sock, what the fuck are you people on?

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

How the fuck am I supposed to live, how many fucks am I supposed to give?

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

Last time I saw joe guy I told him I was fucked up from red tape and fees from a dwi I got when I was 21 and he laughed at me and bragged about how he had just got one but it was swept under the rug. Can’t imagine how he and his abusive dad handled “international development”

[syracuse.com @syracusedotcom]

Rep. Brandon Williams moves toward far right with new staff rooted in Trump’s MAGA campaign https://t.co/bEe0CwJqAf

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

They don’t call repeated infractions on purpose so they can call it at a pivotal point in the game and change the game flow to their liking, happened last night on the last drive and has been happening for years.

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

The NFL Has Put the World on Notice the Regular Rules Will Not Apply to the Chiefs https://t.co/DW1vLAx0Bh

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

This is what happens when the market is so competitive you have to waive home inspections and other important health and safety aspects to even compete on buying a house. Fucking nightmare.

[syracuse.com @syracusedotcom]

Family loses Fayetteville home to fire 3 days after moving in https://t.co/sRCrKD7xe1

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

I just heard Siri say “Baltic” and it sounded just like “ball dick”

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

I don’t think it’s wrong, doing 100 but they tell me to take it slow. But I never put my foot on the brake oh no, I never put my foot on the brake oh no.

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

No matter which way I go, the tell me don’t take that road.

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

Parenting an almost 3 year old and a one year old is pretty much making sure a raging goku doesn’t hurt this helpless little dopey chicken that lives at your house.

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

Michael’s been begging for Ryder from paw patrol to come over and I’m like fine cool, he’s coming soon. Now today he wants the whole paw patrol over. Won’t leave the window till they get here. I rent one floor how am I supposed to accommodate the entire paw patrol?

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

Nobody has more intense road rage then someone that just did something dangerous and got honked at/ flipped off

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

I’ve joked like this before, but seeing how many people are commenting on this saying they could do it better or they forgot one of the best chefs in the world could actually cook destroys my faith in common sense. You mf’s couldn’t even outcook me and I only been at it 3 years.

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

Nothing tugs my heartstrings like an interview with a baseball dad after his sons debut/ first hit or some shit

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

“Don’t talk about it be about it” from a fat bastard stuffing his face, behind security, cameras, and the safety of knowing Russ can’t do anything back in this setting. Dude would call 911 immediately if someone showed up to his job talking shit like this.

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Lil bro just trying to eat his steak (somebody get him some utensils please) and Russ is beefing with fans

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

I miss DJ Felli Fell

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

Sign me up for 7 games of warriors/ pelicans right now

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

Cucumber onion salad is superior to tomato cucumber because onions don’t fall apart in the fridge like weak willed tomatoes do.

[Daquiri Zachary @Michael_J_Rocks]

I spit on your dietary restrictions.