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What happens when your own stupidity comes back to bite you in the ass...
THE MAGA BOOMERANG: A LOVE STORY
Oh this is gorgeous. This is Shakespeare if Shakespeare drank Monster Energy and watched Fox news.
Sandra and Abdellatif Hafraoui. Three time Trump voters. Not casual voters. Not โI held my nose and did it once.โ Three time. That is loyalty punch card territory. One more and you get a free red hat and a side of constitutional collapse.
They went to a rally in Las Vegas in 2020. In person. In the flesh. Clapping like seals at SeaWorld while a man on stage shouted about mass deportations for the better part of a decade. Deport them. Round them up. Send them back. Big chants. Big cheers. Big foam fingers.
And Abdellatif is standing there like, โYeah! Them!โ
Mate. You are them.
Then they pop down to Newark airport for a cute little Florida holiday. Sunscreen. Boarding passes. Maybe a cheeky Bloody Mary before takeoff. And suddenly four plain clothes officers cuff her husband, bundle him into an unmarked van like he is in a low budget mob movie, and tell Sandra, โYou do not want to make a scene.โ
Nothing says land of the free like a mystery van and a polite threat.
108 days in detention. That is not a processing error. That is a Netflix docuseries. Shipped from New Jersey to Louisiana to Arizona like a lost Amazon parcel. Ten days in solitary because he would not sign papers to deport himself. Fifty grand in legal fees. An ankle bracelet at 60 years old. Cannot work. Holiday nonrefundable. Disney World replaced with a federal holding cell.
And the reason? His lawyer, who later got five years in federal prison for immigration fraud, forgot to tell him about a court date over a decade ago.
You hired a crook to handle your immigration paperwork and then voted for the guy who promised to unleash the full force of the machine on anyone with paperwork issues. That is not bad luck. That is a sitcom written by Satan.
No crimes. Thirty eight years in America. Came over at 22 after watching Dallas in Morocco. That is the most wholesome immigrant origin story ever. โI saw oil tycoons on TV and thought, that looks nice.โ
And then he votes three times for the bloke who built his entire brand on โsend them back.โ
It is like buying a Rottweiler named Bitey, teaching it to hate the mailman, and then being shocked when it rips your arm off because you walked in wearing a high vis vest.
Trump did not whisper this stuff in a cave. He yelled it. On stages. On hats. On every channel that would have him. Mass deportation. Big beautiful deportation. The largest deportation operation in history. He said it so often it became background music.
And Sandra is in the crowd like, โYes, that. But obviously not my husband. He makes a lovely espresso.โ
That is not how authoritarian crackdowns work. They are not a rewards program. There is no loyalty discount. The machine does not stop and go, ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝHang on lads, he clapped at the Vegas rally. Let him through.โ
The ICE officer did not scan her Facebook before saying do not make a scene. The detention centre did not check his voting history before throwing him in solitary. The system does not care who you cheered for. It cares about categories and checkboxes.
โI thought they would focus on criminals,โ Sandra said.
He told you he would focus on everyone. He said it repeatedly. It was not subtle. It was not code. It was not hidden in Latin on page 400 of a policy paper. It was the slogan.
But this is the great American delusion. Everyone thinks the leopards only eat other peopleโs faces. There is always this magical belief in the exception clause. Yes, mass deportations, but surely not Gary from Bayonne. He barbecues. He loves the Jets. He is one of the good ones.
Authoritarian politics does not do โgood ones.โ It does lists.
Now, I genuinely feel for Abdellatif. I do. The bloke got stitched up by a dodgy lawyer and then steamrolled by a system that runs on fear and paperwork.