dutch slut

Predictably unpredictable.

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

All theatre educators working between 1995 and 2010 should be rounded up and tried for war crimes.

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

I would like to live through more precedented times, if possible…

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

I was just thinking “wow, The Handmaid’s Tale must have really taken a toll on Elis*beth M*ss”, but then I remembered she’s a devout Scientologist and has mashed potatoes for brains.

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

@toddrr217 LITERALLY.

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

Imagine me not having a hard time. What do you think I would be like?!

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

Anal sex is a protest!!!!!

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

I don’t like Chrishell because she’s queer now. She’s queer now because I like her. #SellingSunset

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

I’m sorry to a lot of gworls, but after last night, “Rachel” is officially a slur. #VanderpumpRules

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

@BeauCybulski Extremely horny for this!!!!

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

The pitch: a Fear Factor style reality show in which I have to put my money where my mouth is and prove that I would actually “die for” all the Bravolebrities I’ve claimed I would.

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

If I had someone to tickle my back and tell me I’m pretty once every fiscal quarter, I’m confident I could figure out the rest.

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

@gagadaily

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

#SellingTheOC asks the bold, brave, and beautiful question “what if everyone gets a villain edit?”

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

@andrewmfick RELEASE YOUR JOB.

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

Stay loud on the internet, y’all! You may not get reproductive rights, but we did get old Instagram back!!!

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

If I was on a charcuterie board, I would be a really stinky, nasty, little cheese.

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

The movie Jawbreaker, but it’s Meatball, and no one accidentally murders me, I just die alone in my apartment from trying to swallow a whole meatball.

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

Don’t post pictures of your dad at the beach if you don’t want me to fuck him. It’s that simple.

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

It’s so chic when a girlie uses her own wedding photos to wish all her besties a happy birthday for the next 7 years. It says “let’s celebrate your day by throwing it back to a time that was all about me.”

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

That was for Google. You didn’t see that.

[dutch slut @MichaelProblems]

Hot gays behind bars looking for pen pals non-violent