Mich

funny stories & jokes ab my life is all you’ll find here, welcome.

[John Legend @johnlegend]

Once again, Ron DeSantis is a small, cruel man.

[Katelyn Burns @transscribe]

if you have a problem with the student loan cancellation because you already paid off your loans, just pretend its a tax cut for the rich that you also never got but mysteriously didn't complain about.

[Read Raising Expectations (and Raising Hell) @JPHilllllll]

Anyone talking about how Andrew Tate is being “censored” or “canceled” is a red flag. He’s being de-platformed for encouraging violence against women. It’s really simple.

[John Legend @johnlegend]

I assume all those conservatives outraged by the FBI performing a peaceful lawful search of a serial fraudster and tax cheat who was illegally keeping classified documents will be proportionately outraged by this attempted murder by the cops.

[🦋 @_saratoninn]

There is no group of drivers more aggressive than those waiting in line at the Costco gas station

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

republicans will be like “gay marriage just doesn’t follow the traditional definition of marriage” and then cheat on their third wife

[Andrew—#IAmTheResistance @AmoneyResists]

If members of Congress can be arrested for peacefully protesting, they can be arrested for seditious conspiracy against the United States.

[Yosie @martin_yoselin]

On top of the fact that undocumented people actually may be entitled to workers’ compensation benefits when injured on a job..these are the type of people that instill fear in undocumented workers and exploit them. Undocumented people also have rights.

[Andrew—#IAmTheResistance @AmoneyResists]

If 30 armed cops in full tactical gear with ballistic shields were too afraid to confront one gunman with an AR15, maybe we shouldn’t be putting AR15s in the hands of civilians.

[Mehdi Hasan @mehdirhasan]

You blocked Obama from appointing a justice based on a made-up rule about election year appointments, and then appointed one in a stolen seat straight after. You then appointed a justice in an election campaign (!) violating your own made-up rule. Yeah you definitely worked hard.

[Mich @Michellev_03]

Any time my dog barks for more than 1 second, my bf’s neighbor starts blasting rock music into his back yard as loud as possible. What should we do????

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

Oh, there’s anger?

Now why would there be anger that Cruz amplified known lies about our election that fueled an insurrection that cost ppl’s lives?

What does he think the logical response to his lies should be? A hug?

Maybe there’s anger bc his actions deserve accountability.

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

To some of my colleagues who clearly need the reminder: the Confederacy were traitors to our democracy and white supremacists will never win. 🌞

If any of you has trouble with that, maybe you should resign because you’re not ready to run an ant farm, let alone serve in Congress.

[Lecrae @lecrae]

My lawyer is a black woman.
My accountants are black women.
My business managers are black women.

Celebrate, protect, and invest in our women.

[Patriotic Millionaires @PatrioticMills]

.@AOC — “We have money for tax loopholes for yachts. We have money to incentivize stock buybacks.”

But suddenly, we “can’t afford” to give struggling families the relief they so desperately need.

[Mich @Michellev_03]

Republicans want to make rules for everyone and don’t want to follow any of them. So sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, cómanse un cerro de mierda.

[Mich @Michellev_03]

Customer on the phone: “now I don’t want to sound racist but...”
Me:

[Mich @Michellev_03]

Dunkin’ Donuts never fails to disappoint. Hate to see it