Michelle Aitken

retired theatre-maker
researcher at the ABC
she/her | Whadjuk Noongar boodjar

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

Weird history of mechanical telephones: In the 1880s Massachusetts had a network of string telephones complete with a switchboard
https://t.co/VOQO3J3GF4

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

I get this targeted government ad a lot (my bad) and all it does is make me want that foetus decanter. Me and my baby would enjoy many drinks together pls consider me 🤞🤞🤞

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

Ah no it came last

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

Haha there's a Melbourne cup horse called I Am A Millennial

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

Not @AAMI explaining to me, a young woman and therefore stupid, how car sales work 🙃
(I sent their guy examples of my car on sale for more than they were offering and this is his way of telling me ok but those ones don't count)

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

Happy birthday depression!

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

Doesn't everyone's dad use their home office colour inkjet printer to print blown-up pro-gun memes on A4 paper and then blutack them to the wall of the home office?

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

Forget the wall hurry up and build a roof to stop Jeff Bezos coming back from space

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

I'm 90% sure nobody talks like that! But everyone is Doing it

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

Lockdown binging Mare of Easttown and like, is Kate Winslet going to do the accent the whole time? Feel like I already get the point so she could maybe have a break

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

Keep accidentally signing off emails "Thanks, Mice" omg (by typing Michelle but hitting backspace instead of L)
Imagining myself as the mouse plague that Michael McCormack wished on inner city apartments except I (plague) moved to the city, became freelance artist, learned email,

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

playwriting mentor: have you read Glengarry Glenlen Ross
Me: furiously tossing up between "is coffee for closers??" And "haha no who is he"

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

Sorry I'm late I got into the passenger seat of my own car and sat there for 10 minutes before I remembered that I needed to drive it

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

Government ads are like "I want to be sure I'm mentally healthy! Get a checkup from ur doctor!!" But when I tell the doctor I feel bad and anxious almost always, they say ok, you need to book a longer appointment if you want to do the humiliating quiz to win a referral so, bye!

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

Except obviously the reason is that the government doesn't have to give any money to poor people if you're successful at working out how to do it

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

Why is changing the background artwork the only thing on this entire fucking website that's actually easy to do

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

Me to my Magic Eye Dog who is staring at the funny pattern, slightly cross eyed: "what is it boy?! what is it?"

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

If you see me don't talk to me I cut my own hair and now I am mad about it

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

Ok

[Michelle Aitken @Michellezebub]

An air fryer is just an oven I have never seen any evidence to the contrary and I will NOt be seeing any in the future thank you