Middle Sister Says

My middle sister is hilarious. I wanna share it with the world.

[Middle Sister Says @MiddleSisterSez]

how fucking weird are belief systems? whether you believe in a God or that you'll become a man by consuming jizz, it's all so fuckin weird.

[LORDS of DOGWOOD @LordsofDogwood]

.@theArtsClub presents #BombIttyOfErrors, a Shakespeare-infused "hip-hopera", through May 10. @Bombittyvan Review: http://t.co/MzqkzJAoCz

[Bomb-itty of Errors @Bombittyvan]

Awesome review from @LordsofDogwood http://t.co/vWsvr2YNFo

[Middle Sister Says @MiddleSisterSez]

Somene in my psych class just learned that the earth goes around the sun. I weep for my generation.
#sister #comedy #cantmakethisshitup

[Middle Sister Says @MiddleSisterSez]

So, I went to a church this morning to sing, and the sermon was definitely about Jews not accepting Jesus.

[Middle Sister Says @MiddleSisterSez]

I called someone Oedipus, and they didn't get it.
"Who?" They asked
"The original mother fucker."
"..."
"Greek mythology?"
"..."
"Goddamn."

[Middle Sister Says @MiddleSisterSez]

#alcohol is the lubricant for when #life fucks you over
#middlesister #funnyshit #truth #lifelessons #comedynation #ComedyNotDrugs #sisters

[Middle Sister Says @MiddleSisterSez]

Thanks, #professor. I didn't realize I signed up for a 9am class in Infuriating and Unrelated Bullshit
#comedy #funnysister #funnyordie

[Middle Sister Says @MiddleSisterSez]

#Warning: We sing a #gospel piece at some point and we sound really fucking white
#funny #sister #quotes #comedy #lilsis #cantmakethisshitup

[Middle Sister Says @MiddleSisterSez]

S: My #brother started #tweeting about me cuz apparently I say #funny shit
J: omg I should follow him
S: Or you could I dunno... #talk to me

[Middle Sister Says @MiddleSisterSez]

Do I have #tea in my #flask? Na son, I got #chickensoup in this thing. I am not even close to messing around today
#comedy #sisters #funny

[Middle Sister Says @MiddleSisterSez]

Gee, I wish there was a #Barbershop style song about a colossal #schlong - Wait no longer, folks! http://t.co/NTXqEq0gxh
#funny #sister

[Middle Sister Says @MiddleSisterSez]

A small-doses friend invited me over for #NYE. Hopefully she has enough booze to make it interesting
#introvert #awkward #fumnyshit #sister

[Middle Sister Says @MiddleSisterSez]

"@Jcttsang: Smart, successful man: 1. Golddigger: 0 #relationship #love #NewYork http://t.co/4IEH634omy" this is #priceless

[Middle Sister Says @MiddleSisterSez]

#Sorry I didn't reply sooner, I was cornered by #Mormons.
#funnyshit #funny #sister #cantmakethisshitup

[Middle Sister Says @MiddleSisterSez]

If the new missionary plan is to flirt with strangers on Transit and then give you their pitch, I won't deny it's very clever.
#funnyshit

[Middle Sister Says @MiddleSisterSez]

My #roommate is #literally #crying over #spilledmilk. #cantstop #laughing if we liked eachother, this would be a #bondingmoment
#sister #sis

[Middle Sister Says @MiddleSisterSez]

As her friend, #therightthing to do is to slip her a #laxative to prevent her from going there.
#goodfriend #comedy #sisters #funnyshit #Au