Mike Muratore

Christian. Conservative. Wife. I speak my mind aka THE TRUTH💁. If it ain’t 2A 🔫, I ain’t gonna play🙅‍♀️. God ✝️, Country 🇺🇸, A Woman’s Right to Choose 🤰

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

A lot of things have changed my life for the better over the past few years. But none have been as impactful as implementing a daily fiber supplement from the fine folks at Metamucil™

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

@NUCLRGOLF I’ll never disagree with anything that lets me watch Matt Kuchar play more golf

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

Xander/Tommy is a dream pairing and they’re the group to watch today. If Hatton and Reed shoot +15 and +17 respectively we have ourselves a pretty perfect Saturday

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

@_garrettbell No pressure but I’ll be mirroring all of your bets in an effort to afford food for my son

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

@LevineJonathan @JackOsbourne You’re a “media company” and don’t know that every Grip/Electrician/AC carries clothespins (C-47s) in their kits and that bulky clothing gets pinned down so that movement doesn’t ruin audio?

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

@elonmusk You’re still cut like a bag of milk chief

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

@RepMTG You do realize that saying “I didn’t actually support it but the guy I blindly worship asked me to so I gladly supported it” is much more pathetic than it is commendable, right?

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

@hayesdavenport @NoahGarfinkel This mf just doesn’t miss

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

Top to bottom, The Comeback is a 10 out of 10 documentary. My only gripe is that they really undersold how Nomar is hands down the greatest shortstop to ever play the game and I promise you will not change my mind on this.

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

@JeffBezos @realDonaldTrump Stfu Jeff

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

@IvankaTrump Real missed opportunity by having a cake in front of you and not a can of Goya beans.

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

@CollinRugg @dougmillsnyt There are history books about being a lame ass nerd?

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

@elonmusk Wow that sounds like really shitty internet speed way to go you fucking nerd

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

@elonmusk Review? Bro this is an hour long commercial that you definitely paid for

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

@DC_Draino Hell yeah that is pretty radical 🤙🤙

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

@CollinRugg @AngelaBelcamino If Alec Baldwin wasn’t such a liberal cuck he would’ve known that Gun Safety Rule #1 is to never point a gun at another person even if said gun is a prop that was deemed safe by the armorer on set who’s literal job it is to make sure firearms aren’t dangerous!

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

@atensnut Holy Sht. You’re fucking dumb.

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

I watched just over a minute and a half of this before I realized it’s from a stand up set and not a video of some kind of junior pastor at a mega church trying to act relatable

[Matt Rife @mattrife]

A MATCH MADE IN TAMPA😂😂
She did WHAT?! 😫😂

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

@RealEmirHan I dunno man but I’m pretty fucking sure it’s not this

[Mike Muratore @MikeMuratore5]

If The Traitors S3 cast rumors are true I’m genuinely ecstatic to see Tony Vlachos play. BUT I’m also pessimistically confident that he’ll be an early target and I’m gonna have to hate watch Dorinda or someone equally as dumb win