MIKE WILL…iams

Silence is Golden, so Go with the Flow, because Life is unfair but it's unfair to everyone

[MIKE WILL…iams @MikeWill_Tweets]

Labor Day should be the holiday where you test out your new Thanksgiving and Christmas food ideas so that no one is flabbergasted that you decided to try something new instead of making grandma’s signature recipe

[burntout @burntoutviz]

Coach Prime has handled Juju perfectly up until this point. That final drive was God taking the training wheels off and he was ready for his moment

Don’t be surprised if Juju hangs 400yds on Weber State 🦬

[🅾️ from da 4️⃣0️⃣4️⃣ @Ofromda404]

Our whole theater stayed silent. Packed theater, nun but cold blooded killers in that mf

[Breece Hall @BreeceH]

That Chick Fil A waffle sandwich damn near up there with the McDonald’s McGriddle ngl🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Aokiji クザン 🇵🇸 @DukeOfZamunda]

If it can filter sunny delight it can filter the waters of Chernobyl

[ًluna @shivhightower]

Love watching Slow Horses when I'm having a bad day cuz no matter what kind of day I'm having River Cartwright having a worse one.

[Kagan @KaganTech]

Every year Jason Statham puts out a movie where he plays Jason Statham... He seeks vengeance for some ill action that's none of his business and gets it. Every year I watch it knowing exactly what will happen.

Mutiny done and dusted. See you again next year with the exact same storyline 🤣

[Quint Simpson. @_1quint]

@MikeWill_Tweets A real one

[MIKE WILL…iams @MikeWill_Tweets]

@_1quint 😂😂😂

[Red&Blacklover🔥❤️🖤🇵🇷🇩🇪 @SimplyDirtyBird]

Brain Robinson is a real one 🗣️🗣️🗣️❤️🖤😂 #Dirtybirds #RiseUp

[D. @Lush_Beauty1]

People stay worried about “monitoring spirits,” but Psalm 23 already told us God prepares your table in the presence of your enemies.
When He blesses you, He doesn’t hide you. He makes you untouchable.

[garrett @gxrrettgsn]

I grew up a Dawg. I was born and raised to hate orange.

I hate the color. I hate the fruit. I hate the flavor. I hate the teams that wear it. I hate everything about it.

All because of Florida, Auburn, and Tennessee. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

[𝓢𝓱𝓪𝔂𝔂𝔂 🧚🏾‍♀️✨✨ @_iamhershayyy]

Move on like you never knew them,bcuz the person u thought they were never truly existed.U knew the version they showed you Once their real behavior come out, everything start making sense🤦🏾‍♀️and that’s yo chance 2get tf GONE✌🏾

[Coumba @CoumbaR]

interstellar, oppenheimer, odyssey, the dark knight….christopher nolan the genius YOU AREEEEEEEEEE

[EVERYBODY’S DADDY @ayoagbato]

Watched it in 4DX yesterday, bro shot the arrow and the wind blew on my neck I wanted to shout😭

[MIKE WILL…iams @MikeWill_Tweets]

It’s summer

[Nicky💕 @jas_d_barbie]

What happened with iPhones? Why is mine overheating so much causing my phone to lag and the battery is depleting even when I’m charging it??

[MIKE WILL…iams @MikeWill_Tweets]

@Gideoomatic Patrick Cage II

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

In Georgia I entered a Chick-fil-A drive-thru line of forty cars.

I turned off my engine. I prepared to wait the way my ancestors waited out a siege.

Six minutes later I was holding chicken.

I do not know what happened to the other thirty-nine cars. The line moved like water that had somewhere to be.

A young woman walked between the cars taking orders on a small tablet, on foot, in the sun, smiling like the sun was her idea.

I said thank you.

She said, "My pleasure."

I did not think about it then. I should have.

At the window I thanked the young man for the food.

"My pleasure."

I thanked him for the sauce.

"My pleasure."

I thanked him for thanking me—

"My pleasure."

I want to be clear about what was happening.

This was a duel.

In Japan I trained in courtesy for forty years. Bowing angles. Seasonal greetings. The correct depth of apology for seventeen distinct situations.

I was a white belt in that drive-thru.

I escalated. I used my most formal English. I thanked him on behalf of my entire family line.

He said, "My pleasure," and gave me extra sauce.

Extra sauce. Unprovoked. A counterattack.

I returned the next day to reclaim my honor.

It was Sunday. The restaurant was closed.

All of them were closed. In the entire country. They close every Sunday, and they have closed every Sunday since the beginning, because the founder made a promise, and the promise did not expire when he did.

I stood in the empty parking lot and understood I had lost twice.

Once to a teenager with sauce.

Once to a man I will never meet, who kept his word so long it became a building.

In my country we say a samurai's word is his life.

I had never seen a restaurant say it back.

I returned Monday. I ordered. And this time I said it first, before she could.

"My pleasure."

She smiled and said, "It sure is."

America, I surrender.

It was my pleasure.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I left Alabama. I am in Georgia now.

At 3 a.m. I saw a yellow sign glowing beside the highway.

Waffle House.

I went in. The parking lot was full. At 3 a.m.

I asked the waitress when they close.

She looked at me the way you look at a child who has asked when gravity ends.

She said, "We don't close, baby."

Two things happened in that sentence.

One: I learned Waffle House has never closed. Not at night. Not on Christmas. Not during hurricanes.

Two: she called me "baby."

I am a grown man. I have a mortgage. It repaired something in me I did not know was broken.

I ordered hash browns.

She said, "Scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, diced, peppered, capped, or topped?"

I did not understand a single word in that sentence.

I said, "Yes."

She nodded and wrote it down. Apparently that was a correct answer.

Then I learned something, and I need you to know I did not invent this.

The United States government measures the strength of hurricanes by whether the Waffle House is open.

Open: the storm is fine.

Limited menu: the storm is serious.

Closed: evacuate. It is over.

This is called the Waffle House Index. FEMA uses it. FEMA. The disaster agency.

Japan built earthquake satellites. America watches a diner.

Both systems work.

At 3 a.m., the Waffle House contained: two truck drivers. A nurse still in scrubs. Four teenagers in prom clothes. One man who had clearly made several mistakes that evening. And one Japanese man with a notebook.

Nobody asked anybody why they were there.

At Waffle House, being there is the answer.

Then a man at the counter noticed my Alabama shirt. It was a gift. Long story.

He did not speak. He pointed at the shirt and shook his head slowly, the way you correct someone in church.

Then he said, quietly: "Go Dawgs."

I panicked and used the only word I own.

"Roll Tide."

Every fork in the building stopped.

The cook looked up from the eggs.

The waitress said, "Baby, no."

I understand now. Every state here has its own word. My word is from one state ago.

The man bought my waffle anyway.

He said, and I am quoting him exactly: "You didn't know. Bless your heart."

I have been told that phrase has two meanings.

I believe I received the gentle one.

I believe.

[West Wilson @Conrad_Wilson]

No fucking way