Andrew

Analogy Expert and Master of missing the point. 2 Kings 2:23-24

[Andrew @Milleaj]

I like that they gave Lindsey Graham’s sister his job. With all the insider trading, Epstein child trafficking, and lobbyists bribery; it’s nice to see some good-hearted nepotism.

[Andrew @Milleaj]

Not sure how it’s fair that we have to play against both Bosnia and Hertzovogania but oh well.
#worldcup

[Andrew @Milleaj]

‘No way to prevent this’ says only political party that regularly does this.

[Andrew @Milleaj]

“Maybe I’m like Judas, maybe I’m the thief, maybe I’m the sinner who put you on that tree. For 30 pieces of silver, he ain’t worse than me because he betrayed you for money, and I did it all for free.”
#GoodFriday

[Andrew @Milleaj]

With how massive Artemis 2 is, they should have sold ad space on the rocket.

[Andrew @Milleaj]

https://t.co/pzZpw7W6b4

[Andrew @Milleaj]

I think it’s funny we teach kids the sounds animals make as if that’s useful information. You’re going to figure out that a dog barks eventually. No adult has ever heard a cow moo and was like “what the fuck is that?”

[Andrew @Milleaj]

I’m not a fan of dual citizenship, I feel like you should choose one and stick with it. Either Sam’s club or Costco.

[Andrew @Milleaj]

What is the most delicious astrological sign?
Reese's Pisces

[Andrew @Milleaj]

I hope aliens do intercept our TV frequencies. Then they will think we are all terminally ill, obese creatures with erectile dysfunction.

[Andrew @Milleaj]

Talking on the phone with someone and they cut out. Then you do absolutely nothing to change anything, but you wait 3 seconds and say "can you hear me now?"

[Andrew @Milleaj]

Sometimes I wonder how much better Rocky Balboa would have been if he tracked his gut biome and did red light therapy.

[Andrew @Milleaj]

In order to secure a discount on pants, I signed up to get texts from Lands End. I thought they would annoy me but they make me feel important and popular. Maybe I am depressed.

[Andrew @Milleaj]

I sometimes wonder what would happen if you put beef jerky in a crock pot. That's been on my heart recently.

[Andrew @Milleaj]

I like my cheese to be like baby Jesus; tender and mild.

[Andrew @Milleaj]

@MrBeast Jeff Probst

[Andrew @Milleaj]

@TrumpsHurricane Also, their bread is getting crushed.

[Andrew @Milleaj]

@TrumpsHurricane My thought is they need another cart. This one is too full

[Sir Yacht @SirYacht_]

Getting my Thanksgiving hot take out early this year: hockey puck cranberry sauce is the best way to enjoy cranberry sauce

[Andrew @Milleaj]

@AlumniHallAU Let me know when the Auburn Air max 95s are out.