MissMP

'You have beautiful eyes and you use them well. But you sit like a rugby player.' My careers adviser, 1999. // Shouty welshwoman // FinTech copywriter

[MissMP @MissMP]

Did my tri-weekly 5k run* sans socks. Pretty much put a hole in my foot. If this was 1835 they'd amputate.

*crimson-faced deathshuffle

[MissMP @MissMP]

@andyinfinity @thomaswebber88 You know my avo skills are on fleek, Fats

[N @Phemmeene]

i love this

[MissMP @MissMP]

@thomaswebber88 Cuba Big Tits Jr.

[MissMP @MissMP]

@LondonMudlark Hi Lara. Do you have any links/advice on how to get started? Or even guided walks? Thanks!

[Dan Jackson @northumbriana]

This is a real BBC documentary from 1989 on the Guards Division, but it could easily be a Monty Python sketch.

[MissMP @MissMP]

OMG YES PLEASE @embatesays @innocent. This will make a tough day a little easier. Especially if it's a sausage dog

[MissMP @MissMP]

@SamsungHelpUK you didn't answer the question. Are they available or not? Yes or No will do. Thank you

[MissMP @MissMP]

@SamsungHelpUK Are you saying that iPlayer isn't currently available? What about 4OD?

[MissMP @MissMP]

@SamsungUK - Hi. No iPlayer app or support on new UE40K5500 smart TV. Can you help?

[MissMP @MissMP]

@hari_miller @andyinfinity @RhysWilliams2 @GillThomas @BBCArchive is that.....coal dust?

[GrumpySkeletor @GrumpySkeletor]

Living the motherfucking dream.

[MissMP @MissMP]

@embatesays HOLLLER 🙌🏻

[MissMP @MissMP]

Nailing the stone-cold-bitch face since 1998

[MissMP @MissMP]

Let's try this again. Please apply for my job, or share the ad with someone who might like to. I thank you: https://t.co/9pl4fKgLEK

[MissMP @MissMP]

ALRIGHT, I MISS WORDS OUT AND THEY'VE SACKED ME*

*they haven't https://t.co/WDm4yuOreU

[MissMP @MissMP]

It's with a great big dose of sadness that I'm leaving the brilliant @quietroomtweets. PLEASE HELP ME A REPLACEMENT: https://t.co/9pl4fKgLEK

[MissMP @MissMP]

It's with a great big dose of sadness that I'm leaving the brilliant @quietroomtweets. PLEASE HELP ME A REPLACEMENT: https://t.co/9pl4fKgLEK

[MissMP @MissMP]

@andyinfinity @jane_eden Ahhh, it's nice we share that cultural reference even though you're old man

[MissMP @MissMP]

@andyinfinity @jane_eden *WAH WAH WAH WAAAAAAAH, WAH WAH WAH WAAAAAH*

[MissMP @MissMP]

@blackamnesias with your face like someone who has LITERALLY tweeted at themselves because no one else cares

[MissMP @MissMP]

@blackamnesias with your face like a burnt soufflé