Missy

If polar bears are deadly, why are they so cute?

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Ned. He’ll be conducting your check-pup today. Please don’t giggle when you see him. He’s $232,000 in debt from medical school and would appreciate some respect. 13/10

[Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation @OKWildlifeDept]

sitting in the parking lot confused because you left for work late but still got there on time :

[Missy @MissyW_7]

@waDNR I lava you

[Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation @OKWildlifeDept]

Your house is not haunted, there's a raccoon in your attic. And that is much, much worse.

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

Queso = Spanish for cheese

K, so... = Midwestern for here’s the plan and you might not like it

[People for Bernie @People4Bernie]

Not only is today @BernieSanders' 82nd birthday, it's also the anniversary of this tweet.

[National Park Service @NatlParkService]

If you want an adventure, take a step outside. Unless it's storming. Or really hot. Is that a bear?

[Missy @MissyW_7]

@spittinchiclets @chevrolet Toews

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

Learn Midwestern 101:

“We’ll see” - not coming

“I’ll let you know” - not coming

“Hmm not sure yet” - very sure about not coming

“I’ll see if we can make it work” - it will not and not coming

“I’ll think about it” - nothing to think about and not coming

[Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation @OKWildlifeDept]

Opossums pretending to die the moment they come under pressure is so real of them

[Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation @OKWildlifeDept]

Maturing is realizing you’re the Allan ((standoffish but concerned for everyone’s safety during aquatic recreation events ))

[Missy @MissyW_7]

@RepSwalwell A league of their own

[Gritty @GrittyNHL]

i am a gritty of my word

[Gritty @GrittyNHL]

somehow, heartbreak feels good in a place like this

[Gritty @GrittyNHL]

they got butter on tap!!!!!!

[Mt. St. Helens @MtStHelensWA]

Imagine dinosaurs posing with an asteroid

[Gritty @GrittyNHL]

10K retweets and i’ll wear this to oppenheimer

[JP @jpbrammer]

so sorry for my delay in getting back with you! I have been beset by calamities

[National Park Service @NatlParkService]

First rule of hydrate club: Stay hydrated.

Second rule of hydrate club: Tell everyone you know about hydrate club.

Third rule of hydrate club: Just a minute…need a bathroom break.