Mitchell Rubino

Sky diver, cave diver, sea diver, liar diver, I do it all.

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

Why does a lemonade have less volume and cost $.50 more than a soft drink when both are ordered in separate Biggie Bags? @Wendys

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

*gets a new haircut
Me: When do I sign my modeling contract?

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

@JSchmit16 So disappointed

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

@JSchmit16 😅sure thing

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

@JSchmit16 Most of the time hunted by hunters or predators. Maybe disease, maybe a bad tooth. I know a guy that found a squrriel fallen from a tree and died by landing on a thorny bush

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

@JSchmit16 You'll be surprised how many deer and coon skulls you can find in the timber.

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

@JSchmit16

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

@JSchmit16 Other: jealousy

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

Idk what world you’re living in but in my world I just cut my quesadilla with a pizza pie cutter.

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

*at the post office
Me: Can I buy a roll of stamps please?
Post Office Worker: That’ll be $55 please.
Me: ...... can I just have 10 stamps?

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

Me: gains access to Hulu from Spotify premium promotion

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

I had Virginia’s score predicted correctly at the end of regulation on my bracket, just saying.

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

@BriannaJennett If it’s not orange it’s not worth it.

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

Me: Trying to fall asleep but sore from daily activities. Remembers there’s ibuprofen on night stand.
Me: That sounds delicious

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

@EsperNayr LOL tempting but I’ll listen to you

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

I swear the hand sanitizer at the gym smells like fruit loops cereal. I swear.

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

When you in a weird mode and you sit in your driveway in your car absolutely blasting music. #musicforthesoul

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

When you spell sole instead of soul so you delete your previous tweet to make another one.

[Mitchell Rubino @MitchellRubino]

Get me a yoga badge, just completed my first class ever.