The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source

Your #69 source for MLR's latest News!

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

OOTC is investigating reports that Elon Musk is holding The Shallot hostage in their basement 😔

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

Marlins trade RF Bench Warmer to Giants in exchange for empty promises.

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

Sources inside the Yankees front office suggest move to Atlantis unlikely.

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

Cubs promote WoodCutter Jones to Captain.

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

Tigers trade 1B Wonder Francoh to Braves in exchange for a bag of baseballs.

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

Darth Vader found to be tied to Charlie Looper in potential alternate account controversy.

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

"Jamahal Jenkins is the best player I ever played against." - J.T. Foxx.

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

Lee Allen Ripley reaches contract incentive, paid out entirely in Cheech Coin.

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

Barney Summers diagnosed with right wrist inflammation due to playing too much Guitar Hero. Underwent surgery this morning.

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

Hannibal Bligh was shot in the face with a shotgun. Rehab assignment has been shut down.

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

Yankees sign Jamal Jackson to minor league deal, in an interesting move.

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

Maximus Os sues league over use of likeness in collaboration with Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in an interesting move.

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

OOTC is investigating reports that Dirtbag Darrell is holding the Marlins hostage in their basement.

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

OOTC is investigating reports that Hunter West is holding the Angels hostage in their basement, fans rejoice!

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

Cubs fire Co-General Manager WoodCutter Jones.

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

Brutus Devlin dislocated their shoulder trying to win a ripping phone books in half contest. At least they won. Underwent surgery this morning.

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

Pontius Inebrius suffering from blurred vision after rubbing lotion in their eyes at an Eric Clapton concert. Has been cleared to play catch.

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

Padres beat reporter suggests move to the Gulag may be coming this offseason.

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

Dodgers trade P Assassin Xekutioner to Mariners in exchange for empty promises.

[The Shallot | MLR's Nicest News Source @MLRShallot]

OOTC is investigating reports that Emerson is holding the Expos hostage in their basement.