Shit MM Says

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

i think my shoes grew bigger

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

GIVE ME YOUR ASS

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

one time I was changing william's diaper and one of his tentacles touched me

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

JUST TELL ME WHAT YOUR FUCKING FAVORITE CHOCOLATE IS

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

DONT TEXT THAT!
the government might think you're a terrorist

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

you're going to punished by god one day for all the mean things you've said to me

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

Get me off this plane my seat doesn't recline

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

what's a clit?

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

would you like your gooch to be grazed?

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

what's a gooch?

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

pete: "we're giving you a full tank of gas"

mm: "no I wanted regular"

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

I didn't pat him on the back this time!!!!!

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

where's pete?

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

i don't know if I like him

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

where's costi?

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

HE SENT ME A DICK PIC OF SOMEONE

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

I may be sheltered but I do know movies

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

Hey guys look I got a hickey

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

Someone please tell me what the Vatican is

[Shit MM Says @MMPhilosophy]

Jordan: I heard you have the flu
MM: yeah do you want it?