Chani Cawood

[Chani Cawood @moerDronk]

Please help us with tickets @kfm #kfmRihanna #CT

[Chani Cawood @moerDronk]

@GarethCliff I'd practice my biology skills on @justinbieber

[Chani Cawood @moerDronk]

@GarethCliff showed a friend the tip from a smoker clip, her name was TeRrie not Mary

[Chani Cawood @moerDronk]

@Hayden_Quade happiest of days little one

[Stumbler Top @StumblerTop]

I don't consider them as one night stands, they're auditions.

[Chani Cawood @moerDronk]

"@jessdormehl: One tree hill #itnevergetsols" not again

[Chani Cawood @moerDronk]

@scroodge15 #thebest

[Chani Cawood @moerDronk]

"@autocorrects: I don't see why everybody wants a white iPhone. Everyone knows the black one runs faster." @realTravyD #futurereference

[Chani Cawood @moerDronk]

"@autocorrects: I got 99 chores & I ain't did one. -Lay Z" @gabrielafraser

[Chani Cawood @moerDronk]

" In a 1930s Mickey Mouse comic, Minnie cheated on Mickey with another mouse -- Mickey tried to kill himself by jumping off a bridge." #fml

[What The F*** Facts @WhatTheFFacts]

The African tribe of Wodaabe has a mating season in which everyone including married couples are allowed to have sex with anyone they want.

[Chani Cawood @moerDronk]

"@FUN: You are eight times more likely to be killed by a cop than a terrorist." SA beware, we weren't even considered for this statistic

[Stumbler Top @StumblerTop]

Everything is made in China. Except babies, they're made in VaChina.

[Chani Cawood @moerDronk]

"@autocorrects: Today is the oldest you have ever been, and the youngest you will ever be." #oxbraai give it all the youth you've got

[Chani Cawood @moerDronk]

7th year at #oxbraai, let the vetrons keep on rolling! Won't stop till 10

[Stumbler Top @StumblerTop]

Cell phones have completely ruined the fun of pushing a fully clothed person into a pool.

[Stumbler Top @StumblerTop]

Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: No one helps you once you're fucked.

[Chani Cawood @moerDronk]

"@WhatTheFFacts: It only costs Apple $168 to build an iPhone 5 16 GB -- The retail price in the market is $699." @realTravyD

[Chani Cawood @moerDronk]

Like a lost fart in a bubble bath

[Chani Cawood @moerDronk]

"@FUN: "Scrubs" has actually been described as the most medically-accurate television show on air." #ohFuck