Justin Moffatt

Don’t mention this twitter shit to my family. I need a place to stay. #sendHelp

[Justin Moffatt @MoffattMcFly]

@PeeNutGallery42 @jemelehill Although well articulated and kind in tone. Normalcy in America is rooted in racism. As genuine as you sound. You haven’t accepted that because it’s not happening to you. But the thought you articulated with zero evidence is racism at work. Civil rights only 70yr old NFL is older

[Justin Moffatt @MoffattMcFly]

I just know He’s going to punch me in the face while I’m sleeping

[Justin Moffatt @MoffattMcFly]

Tonight mom asked me to put his night cap on his hair. I said “You know I don’t do this, come here Jace.”
I pull the stalking cap down over his face.…

[Justin Moffatt @MoffattMcFly]

His response was “You’re going to pay for this” and his no fine motor skills having ass walks over to his mother and says “fits it” (fix it for this that don’t speak fluent Jace). We laugh and D says you better sleep with one 👀 open.

[Justin Moffatt @MoffattMcFly]

Then, he runs inside and locks her in the back hallway and runs towards me laughing like the Joker just got one over on Batman. Black momma things were said. He’s safe

[Justin Moffatt @MoffattMcFly]

So y’all’s nephew is on a tear. A couple days ago… I’m at work on my computer. I see D grab the mail. I wave. I get her attention, but not his. I’m thinking he’s tired. Today will be a good day to get some work done. …

[Justin Moffatt @MoffattMcFly]

They enter the house, I hear keys in the jingle in The door. He runs to the top of the steps grabs the swiffer wet jet and sprays D. I hear a shriek of surprise and frustration. Then, as clear as day he says “how you like that?!!”

[Justin Moffatt @MoffattMcFly]

As we’re having a conversation about what we eat.
Dionna: I eat gizzards.
Dad: I know you eat chitterlings!
Dionna: No! Eww!
Dad: I know you do! Cause gizzards is the dookie pouch 😂

[Justin Moffatt @MoffattMcFly]

My son’s bladder is crazy. I swear he was peeing for 60 seconds. He stopped because I looked at him. Hid his face and kept peeing!

[FearBuck @FearedBuck]

Marvel actor Anthony Mackie says

“Success is given, it's not earned, we are lying to our kids”

[Wall Street Apes @WallStreetApes]

Atlanta, Georgia: Protest against ICE mass deportations

Again, Mexico Flags as far as the eyes can see. You’d never guess this was in America

They all love Mexico, want to represent Mexico, send our money to Mexico, they just don’t want to live there

Make it make sense

[vids that go hard @vidsthatgohard]

I’ve never seen a skit be so accurate years later, Dave Chappell is a national treasure 🤣🤣🤣

[🇭🇹💋EXSTACY💋🇭🇹 @RoseSensu]

I love when they say the quiet part out loud

[Chad Johnson @ochocinco]

Back to square one…

We rebuild again…

Until we get it right…

[Justin Moffatt @MoffattMcFly]

Yeah buddy, it’s 4 dicks🤷🏿‍♂️

[Justin Moffatt @MoffattMcFly]

So y’all’s nephew has been going hard in the paint. Yesterday I got mall Chinese food to celebrate my pending promotion. No one has said I’ve been promoted. I applied and something just tells me it’s mine. 2 good interviews + rapport with the hiring mgr

[Justin Moffatt @MoffattMcFly]

Dionna bust out laughing. Of course I’m the parent that has to keep their composure. Buddy (3 times). It’s sticks… chopsticks. 4 chopsticks. He responds “4 Dicks!” I couldn’t break his heart. He was so proud. So, you know what I said.

[Justin Moffatt @MoffattMcFly]

He’s been trying to put the box back together. I’m not going to tell him that box will never be the same again.

[Justin Moffatt @MoffattMcFly]

So tonight I decided to turn on YouTube and pretend my 50+lb 3yr old was on a roller coaster. I had this heavy dude in an Amazon box. Needless to say the box broke after the second video.

[Justin Moffatt @MoffattMcFly]

And not a moment too soon. daddy got to seem like a hero while not admitting he was getting tired. Sometimes you gotta take the win.