Melissa Opat

Iowa girls the kind of girls you can take home to meet your mom...but then they end up out drinking your dad!

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

Looking forward to an upcoming trip to Vegas- staying at Mandalay Bay. A perk for friends & family: http://t.co/pqKP6ow84l @MandalayBay

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

A drum line used to lead soldiers into battle then they would play chicken to see who would fire first. Today... snipers. #Chivalryisdead

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

@djmwags well i don't want to see you with a sad face so i suppose i will give them back lol

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

@djmwags not only will i keep them safe but i will clean them!! You might not get them back but they will be safe and clean!

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

@djmwags somebody likes to leave shit in my car. Sad part is i just found these.

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

Mom just asked me at 2 in the morning in a whisper if I wanted to start a fire. Like it's illegal. #Drunkmom

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

Opat family blackjack night!

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

I just ruined a spiders weekend. #HomeWrecker

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

Need to be productive but JFK documentary is monopolizing my time. #hearthistory

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

My quote of the night: i beat myself up so no one else has too. #Christmasbaking #frustrated

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

This balloon animal does not look like an elephant to me. #kidsaisle #pervertedmind

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

I would never buy my kids a toy vacuum. If you kid wants to vacuum invest in a light weight one and put those bitches to work. #resourceful

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

#Minnesotapic

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

Haven't left Phoenix yet and ive already heard an "eh" and a "you betcha!" #Minnesotabound

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

My quote of the night "well now that we've hung out with the Mormons im gonna have a beer!"

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

If you come to knowledge through me. Fucking represent son! #IdiotOlympics

[Dave Wagner @djmwags]

Iowa vs Dickhead State!

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

I want to change my name to What. It would be fun to say when someone asks you your name.

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

Somedays some peoples lack of intelligence leads me to drink. Turns out it is one of those days. #needashot

[Melissa Opat @Mojolation]

I should have packed my angry eyes for work today. #Onedayoff #shitnotdone