MombieOfOne

Mombie: a nursing and sleep deprived new mum trying to satisfy her insatiable hunger while keeping her small child alive

[MombieOfOne @Mombie0f0ne]

Why is it that your baby will be sleeping soundly and as soon as you’re about to do anything remotely for you... sleeping, eating, dying your hair, flicking the ole bean... he immediately wakes up?! #momproblems #thisismomlife #motherhood #mombie #newmom

[MombieOfOne @Mombie0f0ne]

What I miss most about being pregnant is not having to suck in my gut #thestruggleisreal #momlife

[MombieOfOne @Mombie0f0ne]

Went for my first massage post baby with a male masseuse. Half way through I felt something round and hard poking me in the side... popped up disgusted about to have a #metoo moment ... then realized it was the bottle of oil in his pocket #notmetoo #carryon

[MombieOfOne @Mombie0f0ne]

Mom friend: so what do you do with your baby all day to keep busy?

Me:

[MombieOfOne @Mombie0f0ne]

I just had to look up the lyrics to “Bah Bah Black Sheep�� on YouTube #thisismylifenow

[MombieOfOne @Mombie0f0ne]

YUP #tiredAF #momlife #mombie #thisismootherhood

[MombieOfOne @Mombie0f0ne]

Mom hack number two - When you need to make time for your husband, do it in the shower #alwaysmultitasking #momhack #twobirdsonestone #onlytimeigetclean #showersex #cleanAF #momlife #thisismotherhood #mombie

[MombieOfOne @Mombie0f0ne]

Last minute guests and a messy AF house?! Just leave your vacuum out and your sink full of bubbly water... AT ALL TIMES. That way it looks like you were in the middle of getting your shit together and you can blame the baby #momhack #mombie #momlife #lifehack