Monitron

pink glitter ponys && hello kitty jammies

[Monitron @Monicraze]

Chris and I reacting to trump ending all federal action on climate change

[Monitron @Monicraze]

"People are going to look back at the time like they do the holocaust"
"You realize there won't be any people, right?"
"Fine, the aliens"

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Me: What's wrong?

4-year-old: Does toilet water go to the ocean?

Me: I don't think so.

4: I don't want to poop on the mermaids.

[Humor @HumorTV__]

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO dawg, the powerpuff girls used to beat the fuck outta mojo jojo https://t.co/NDpUg3NMwd

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

Every day of my life.

[Denny’s @DennysDiner]

zoom in on the syrup

[Monitron @Monicraze]

Nice weather means old jams and cruise down 1A

[Monitron @Monicraze]

Ordered over $100 worth of dresses from Forever 21 but honestly might be more pumped about the free snickers they put in the package.

[Chili's Grill & Bar @Chilis]

BREAKING: Chili’s lifts permanent ban on Pam (@JennaFischer), welcomes her back to any #Chilis restaurant: https://t.co/jw76381O8K

[Dashiell Driscoll @dashiell]

Haven't smoked weed in 2 days and it's crazy how clear my mind is. Like I'm really able to focus on how much I wish I had some weed rn

[Monitron @Monicraze]

All I want is pancakes

[Monitron @Monicraze]

Chris won't take me to get pancakes

[Monitron @Monicraze]

Wish I got a W-2 for all the money I spent eating out this year

[Monitron @Monicraze]

#TrumpsAmerica

[Monitron @Monicraze]

Par for the course at this point.

[CQ @coketweet]

I feel sorry for the word "alternative." It used to be a label for cool kids and good music. Now it's a label for Nazis and blatant lies.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

In my house, He Who Must Not Be Named isn’t Voldemort.

It’s Caillou.