clockwork_monkey

She/her. Twitter fuels my misanthropy and ambient rage.

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

@AnnemariePlas As a key worker who has been working throughout the pandemic: please stop. It’s patronising, it’s annoying, it’s irresponsible (people used it as an excuse to socialise last time) and it’s MEANINGLESS. If you want to help, volunteer, raise money, and campaign for a living wage.

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

@Franklar11946 @SkyNewsBreak People don’t ask to be reported missing, it just happens a lot of the time

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

@doctor_oxford @trussliz I hope the Tory party conference will be held elsewhere then…

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

@GNev2 @blunted_james I hope she’s planning on relocating the party conference elsewhere then…

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

Potentially our next PM, ladies and gentlemen

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

@Colin00007 @afneil He had 14m voters in 2019. People can change their minds.

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

@RestIsPolitics where are you both?! We need more analysis of what’s going on! I need more of Alistair barely containing his glee!

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

@NadineDorries @BorisJohnson Oh just shag him already, you massive kiss arse.

[James Mitchinson @JayMitchinson]

Please do remember, whatever happens tonight. Whoever resigns. Remember what they DID NOT resign for.

We will remember.

[Soulsista61 @soulsista61]

The Tories REALLY want to suppress the story about the then Foreign Secretary being caught in his parliamentary office being fellated by mistress, Carrie Symonds, whom he had recommended for a £100K job. For goodness' sake, DON'T retweet this! #Carriegate #Blojo #TorySleaze

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

@RickyDHale Good morning!

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

@JulieAMcDowall I think the concerning thing is that its not even on Twitter (although I know you referenced Twitter). It’s stuff on the Daily Mail and other press outlets that are routinely screaming about nuclear escalation. Like… stop it, that might make Putin think we want a war…

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

@JulieAMcDowall Yaaay!
Also weirdly I felt kinda… reassured by the latest episode? Like… it’s not quite as bad as the tabloid media in the UK is making it out.

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

@rhipratchett These photos make me so happy. And then so sad. I’m listening to the new Wyrd Sisters audiobook (which is excellent) and lifting a glass of scotch in his honour. GNU STP

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

@campbellclaret @RestIsPolitics @RoryStewartUK That’s literally how I imagined your house to look like. And yours too @campbellclaret.
This podcast is the most entertaining thing I’ve heard in a while, please continue!

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

@MayorofLondon “She tries to distract the PM by crossing and uncrossing her legs”…

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

@BBCBweaking This is the only way I choose to consume my bad news

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

@KatyJayne101 Well said. They’re trying to trigger all the oldies who think The Blitz was a jolly bit of fun. We’ve changed prime ministers in peace time and at wars we’ve actually been part of for less than this.

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

@BurnerDontask @NestPasUnPsyop Every time I see this guy my brain tells me he is a bad Johnson impressionist. The name Fabricant is almost too ironic.

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

@davegorwill @Jacob_Rees_Mogg “Excuse me officers, this isn’t a party, this is a gathering for 10 mins”. Yeah, I’m sure that would have worked.

[clockwork_monkey @MonkeyClockwork]

@Jacob_Rees_Mogg We have a Prime Minister who has broken the law and lied. Does that mean nothing to you?
Ps- wasn’t aware we were at war, thought we were supporting Ukraine from the sidelines…was anyone planning on telling us? Or were you waiting til thermonuclear war breaks out?