M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™

I'm Ernie from southern Maine. Mostly post wordplay in retirement. Like streaming, the ocean, early jazz 🪊 & the Boston teams. Sorry - DMs broken. #F4F

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Being able to love doesn't make us human - it's our ability to select all the pictures that include a bus.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

'Nowledge Nugget:

It took State Farm 49 years before introducing "like a good neighbor."

I have posted I like to learn something every day and' nowledge nugget daily for years but this is my last one. The internet is too inaccurate and I have grown weary of the blowback.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

A street photographer was injured when a giant block of cheddar fell off a truck. His subjects tried to warn him.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Haven't yet seen a pile of potatoes that can see eye to eye.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

A piano is still the hardest instrument to pick up.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

What do elderly elderly have in common with library books?

Both are on borrowed time.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Laziness? Nope. Energy saving mode.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Good food, good mood.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

"Doc, I think I contracted 'sorry attic' arthritis. "

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Don't take a cruise if named Eileen Dover.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

'Nowledge Nugget:

New Zealand was the first to give women the vote in 1912.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

What's the best fruit for a magician to materialize?

A pear.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

What's corn's favorite holiday?

New Ears.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Golf? No Sir. Prefer prison flog.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

During wars did sailors with loose lips get the most promotions?

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Snails ARE slow - but you would be too if you carried your house on your back.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

If I were a morning person I'd be someone else.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Thought she was joking when she said she wanted to buy the complete library of The Monkees.

Then I saw her face.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

@HawkEmDownChris Everyone knows it's Windy...

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

'Nowledge Nugget:

Credit cards with chips are also called EMV cards, the acronym being Europay, MasterCard and Visa.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Why are top-tier comedians so good at quieting hecklers when they give them "the look?"

Because with great dour comes great response ability.