MooMoo the Cow

Very sad cow. Most complaints are how the world wasn't made for individuals without thumbs. *Sigh*

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

@shanefm @KateDreyfuss I'm going to start giving advice so plz tweet at me your questions #cowtips

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

@KateDreyfuss moo

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

@shanefm moooo

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

I'm currently writing a petition to Chick-fil-A for their dangerous depiction of cows as bad at spelling okay I know I didn't know udder wasn't spelled utter for a while but leave me alone for a little wait please come back I'm so lonely

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

Everybody talks about which hogwarts house they'd be sorted into and I'm definitely a hufflepuff but I can even hold a wand so I just feel left out

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

Cows don't tip well

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

Do you know how long it takes me to write a tweet with no thumbs? MOOOOOORE than you'd expect #thumbwoes

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

I've been twiddling my thumb all da...oh wait I don't have thumbs. #nothumbslife

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

Black sheep black sheep
Have you any wool
I'm lonely and cold
Please help

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

Life lessons: you gotta moo every damn thang yourself.

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

Mooove over bitch or you will get a knock to the udder sac

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

Fuck the tippers

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

The grass falls into place when the wind blows in a different direction

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

Dogs are cool too tho http://t.co/esR4zZDxXO

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

I am the cow that frowns and only uses approximate rhyme.

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

My best friend is the lactose intolerant human.

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

Tried chewing tobacco today. Nothing like cud. Threw up.

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

Ugh gastric acid tastes a bad. Why was the cow cursed with such a nast digestive system?

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

Do udders wrinkle?

[MooMoo the Cow @MooMooProblems]

What if I had a cow allergy?