Morgan.

• pretend adult •

[Morgan. @Morgan_Mishel]

I miss you brother 💜 today, tomorrow, and everyday. 🕊

[Rihanna @rihanna]

God ain’t forget bout me!

[(T)Terrance 🦋 @terxry18]

ayo @realDonaldTrump you got some fire nudes to share?

[Doc  @DocAtCDI]

ICE officers stopped by our farm yesterday.

“We need to inspect your property for illegal aliens,” one of them said.

I replied, “Alright, but whatever you do, don’t go into that field over there.”

The officer in charge exploded.

“Mister, I have the authority of the federal government behind me!” he barked, reaching into his back pocket. He yanked out a badge and shoved it in my face.

“See this fucking badge? This badge means I can go wherever I want on ANY land. No questions asked, no answers given. Am I clear? Do you understand?”

I nodded politely and said, “Be my guest.”

Then I went back to my chores.

About ten minutes later, I heard screaming. I looked up and saw six ICE agents running for their lives, being chased by my big, mean, old bull. And with every step, that bull was closing in. Fast.

It looked like they were about to get gored for sure.

So I dropped my tools, ran over to the fence, and shouted at the top of my lungs:

“YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR FUCKING BADGE!”

[KWWL @KWWL]

Waterloo business owner Dan Corbett has died at the age of 48, after a battle with cancer and subsequent cardiac arrest. Tonight's KWWL's Emma'le Maas takes a look back at his lasting legacy in the Cedar Valley. https://t.co/k9hXBmZnU3

[Corey Ryan Forrester - WeLoveCorey.com @CoreyRForrester]

“Both sides suck!”

Sure. I hear ya. But if we decide to have another kid, I don’t want my wife to die in childbirth like a fuckin pilgrim. So I voted democrat

[Megan @Megan_With_No_H]

My agenda today:

• Vote
• Drag Show
• Abortion at lunch
• Vote again
• Sex change in a prison bathroom
• Put tampons in the men's room
• Cast some spells while listening to Taylor Swift
• Eat pets for dinner in Springfield
• Take "illegals" to vote

[Morgan. @Morgan_Mishel]

@terxry18 wanna go for a drive? 😂

[Charli Huxley @ImKnotTheOne]

This song will ALWAYS be appropriate when it comes to Trump.

FU Trump
#VoteKamala

[Esta @TheOnlyEsta]

FACTS @BetteMidler‼️
I couldn’t have said it better myself‼️

[Morgan. @Morgan_Mishel]

Today I drove 317 miles to work and home because @IHGhotels didn’t have any hotels within a 50 mile radius of the city I was working in and I’m strictly an IHG girly 😂🩶

[Morgan. @Morgan_Mishel]

Hey @Target if you ever need a sub for your dog mascot… Chica would be happy to step in. 😂 #BullTerrier #TargetDog #Bullseye

[Matt ✨ @mattxctrl]

@YungMiami305 OMGGGGG RIP CITY GIRLS

[Morgan. @Morgan_Mishel]

Can we please stop normalizing saying “kill myself” over stupid things. 🙄

[Morgan. @Morgan_Mishel]

@yungdevy Nooo. We were OBSESSED with this game 🥲

[Morgan. @Morgan_Mishel]

Salary life:

Squeezing your 40 hours into 3-4 days so you always have a weekday off.

Also

Having said weekday off but you work from home so you’re always working 🙃

[Morgan. @Morgan_Mishel]

@MamaDoctorJones @DrJenLincoln I need one of you to explain this to us bc wtf.

[FOX 5 Atlanta @FOX5Atlanta]

A lawsuit has been filed against Southern Regional Medical Center and others after a baby was allegedly decapitated during delivery on July 9. https://t.co/hpD3VkFxc7

[Tyler @xtylerlee_]

There needs to be an alternative to @Ticketmaster first the Taylor Swift fiasco and now @mattrife . It’s 2023 you should have a website that works. #Ticketmaster

[Morgan. @Morgan_Mishel]

@enterprisecares registration**

[Morgan. @Morgan_Mishel]

Hey @Enterprise @enterprisecares. I got the police behind me on the side of the road and expired insurance in this rental. Can’t get through to anyone at customer service…. HELP.

[Ashley Washburn @ashleyjwashburn]

Rihanna announcing her pregnancy was not on my #SuperBowlLVII bingo card, but I am SO here for it.

[Kwik Trip @KwikTrip]

For my next trick, I will hold my bladder till I reach the next Kwik Trip.