Morgan

Scandalous Randallous

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

Mac: “Play some Nicki Minaj Mason”
Mom: “is that the white ass pussy girl?”
Mason: “no mom and it’s wet ass pussy get it right”
Just typical family car ride convo

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

My dad keeps sending me videos from the Dominican of a stray cat so I told him if he doesn’t bring it home with him I will disown him.

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

Idc how long we’ve been dating, we could be married for 10yr, I still want you to ask me to be your valentine! Assuming we’d be each other’s valentines takes all the fun out of it.

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

I just entered: Morgan Wallen Getaway. You can too! WOKQ975 https://t.co/1HFS8WNPtN

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

Not sure why someone felt the need to steal my bumper magnets…😤

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

Bra stuffing is multipurpose. You can use the socks to wipe yourself when you spill your tequila shot down your chin @MasonR2016

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

I’m glad I record lectures because I recorded my professor accidentally locking herself out of the lecture hall trying to demonstrate how Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory knocks 3x on doors.

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

I just watched a woman clean her face with hand sanitizer. I am afraid.

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

Dear radio hosts: You can’t put on Poker Face AFTER I’ve arrived at my destination. Obviously now I have to sit in my car until it’s over. Criminal

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

FedEx is really raising my blood pressure on a daily basis. 🤬 FUCK YOU FEDEX. Phew, had to get that out of my system. If I don’t get my Halloween costume in time they better watch tf out. 😤

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

So I’m at clinical and my nurse says “I’ll have you sit out for this one.”
Me: “okay?”
“This one growls. Sometimes I think I should bring bear mace in with me.”
I thought she was exaggerating until I heard growling from the other room.

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

I had only chips and guac for dinner bc I didn’t want to mispronounce any of the Mexican food on the menu

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

My phone just called 911 on its own so that’s good 👍🏼

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

@MasonR2016 Mason!

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

I get TOO excited when someone asks me a cleaning question or for a cleaning product recommendation.

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

My dream of being a foot model is crushed

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

I was walking by a patient waiting in the ER and he says to someone next to him “You know, statistically speaking, a hospital is the best place to murder someone.” Idk what statistics he’s looking at but if I die tonight..y’all know what happened 💀

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

What does one wear to a strip club?

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

I almost broke my foot getting a video of @ThomasRhett tonight…still one of the best nights of my life. Can’t thank you enough man

[Morgan @Morganmrae]

I almost broke my foot while taking a video of @ThomasRhett tonight. One of the best nights of my life. Can’t thank you enough man