Men,
If you're asking her for permission, you're the girlfriend.
If you're finer than her, you're the girlfriend.
If she's older than you, you're the girlfriend.
If you're begging her to date you, you're the girlfriend.
If you can't piss her off, you're the girlfriend.
If she's tamed you, you're the girlfriend.
If you can't make her cry, you're the girlfriend.
If she controls the sex, you're the girlfriend.