J.R. Smith says he got benched 9 seconds into guarding Kobe Bryant as an NBA rookie
“Crazy because in shootaround, we going through walkthroughs, doing plays and shit. Bryon Scott is trying to explain the triangle and where Kobe going to be at and his moves and shit”
“He was like, ‘He's going to go two dribbles right baseline. He gonna pump fake, stay down. He's going to pump fake again. Stay down.’ I'm like, ‘All right’”
“We go through another play. He tell me, ‘He going to go two dribbles right, pump fake, stay down, pump fake, stay down, and then make him pass it out. Worst case, he'll take a tough shot over top of you. We can live with that.’ I’m like, ‘All right’”
“We go over another play. I was like, ‘Yo, bro, if you tell me he about to go two dribbles right and pump fake and then pump fake... I got it. All right.’ ‘He do it and your ass go for it, I'm taking you out’”
“I get in the game. I swear to God bro. I wasn't in the game nine seconds. When I tell you this man went two dribbles right. But the way he took his two dribbles, I'm thinking he going to the cup for sure”
“This motherfucker pump fake. Jump. Boop. Swish. Beep. Sub. He took me right out”
The mistake is thinking that the World Cup is about soccer. It’s not. It’s about gathering a collection of the world’s greatest binge drinking goofballs and giving them a month to show us all their best.