Bipo

Je rt beaucoup de conneries parceque j'aime perdre tu temps de vie :)

[Wholesome Side of 𝕏 @itsme_urstruly]

Petting the little deer to relieve its itch, which left it utterly bewildered. 😂

[6ɪx✦ @ok6ixx]

I'm a substitute teacher and I just discovered why the regular teacher left me a note that said "don't believe anything about the rabbit." I made the mistake of asking about the empty rabbit cage in the corner. Immediately 23 third-graders started talking at once. The stories included: the rabbit is in witness protection, the rabbit escaped and is running the black market from the cafeteria, the rabbit was actually a spy, the rabbit retired to Florida, and my personal favorite, "the rabbit achieved enlightenment and no longer needs a physical form." I asked what the rabbit's actual name was and got seven different answers. I checked with the teacher later and she was like "there has never been a rabbit. I put the empty cage there on the first day by accident and they created an entire mythology. I can't get rid of it now, they're too attached to the lore." There's a classroom full of kids mourning a rabbit that never existed.

[Troll Football @TrollFootball]

Paris tonight

[Kylian Mbappé @KMbappe]

Madame Celeste Amarilla,
Vous êtes une femme méprisable et indigne de sa fonction.
Vous ne représentez pas le Paraguay, ce pays qui a transpiré la passion et l’honneur tout au long de la compétition. Par votre inconscience et votre racisme décomplexé, le monde entier a déjà oublié le parcours et l’effort historique que vos joueurs ont réalisés durant cette coupe du monde pour laisser place à une dame incompétente donnant la pire image possible de son pays.
Je ne laisserai jamais aux gens comme elle, la liberté de laisser propager leur haine et leur racisme à travers le monde.

[Community Notes & Violations @CNviolations]

The camera just switched to daytime mode 😭

[zero @0EyedSlugger]

10 original sentences left

[Clément Macchi @clement_mci]

Les 65 ans et + à 7h59 le 18 avril avec les bulletins Philippe et Bardella en main

[1v9.GG @1v9GG_]

Zoe after oneshotting you 5 miles away

[Katharina Gurgel @Kathgurgel]

— Não concordo com a homossexualidade.
— Mas você é gay???
— Não.
— Então o que você tem a ver com a sexualidade dos outros???
— É que não é natural!!!
— Hum... Você é Biólogo???
— Não.
— Então você é Antropólogo???
— Também não!!!
— Astrólogo???
— Não!!!
— Então o que você tem a ver com a sexualidade dos outros???
— É que Jesus disse que é uma aberração!!!
— Na verdade, não disse não, nem uma única palavra a respeito!!!
— Não. Mas tá escrito na Bíblia.
— Tá sim, principalmente lá no Velho Testamento, que também proíbe comer porco e camarão, sentar em uma cadeira que foi usada por uma mulher menstruada, acender a luz no sábado. Você evita tudo isso???
— Não.
— Então o que você tem a ver com a sexualidade dos outros???
— EU NÃO GOSTO!!!
— Ah, então o problema não é a natureza das coisas, nem os astros, nem a descendência, nem a suposta "opinião" de Jesus... O problema é que você não gosta, certo???
— É!!! Não gosto!!!
— MAS ENTÃO, MEU ANJO, O QUE VOCÊ TEM A VER COM A SEXUALIDADE DOS OUTROS???

Autor desconhecido

(Já publiquei esse diálogo outras vezes aqui, mas quis publicá-lo novamente hoje).

[#1 kurourushi fan 🪳 @BIGKUROURUSHI]

I literally PHYSICALLY cannot care unless I know the directors age

[Janty @CFC_Janty]

This is one of the best tweets of all time.

[Greentext Poster @GreenTextRepost]

anon sub

[USA hate account @diplodoc_]

La meuf est à deux doigts de se faire graille par un ours et elle cadre toujours mieux que l'enculé qui a filmé Booba vs Kaaris

[Haley Whipjack @whippedjack]

but we.... we know how he became.... they explain it in the first movie....

[Dan Hightower @Danhightower]

Daycare calls me. That's never good.

For them.

Daycare: "your son hurt his elbow and won't move his arm. Can you come take him to a doctor's office?"

Me (ex Special Forces Medic): "A real doctor is on the way to you now. I am 6 mikes out. Alert me of status changes."

I arrive at daycare. I locate the patient. 21 month old male. Scene is not safe. I drag the patient to cover and concealment behind a seesaw, away from the other small terrorists in the AO.

I begin my assessment. Blood sweep negative for massive hemorrhage. Mental status: conscious and verbal but confused (answers "dada" when asked for blood type). One breath every 2 seconds. Bilateral rise and fall of the chest. Strong carotid pulse, strong bilat radial pulse.

Teeth and tongue intact no blood no mucus no dip or foreign objects. Eyes PERRLA, negative JVD/trach deviation, C-spine intact upon palpation.

Heart sounds strong upon auscultation. Percussion negative for hemo-T. Abdominal quads normal upon palpation. Pelvis negative for book sign.

Arms and legs negative for crepitus. However, Patient indicates discomfort in right arm upon palpation and supination/flexion of the elbow.

Nursemaid's elbow.

I begin interventions. Supination/flexion technique complete at 1215. Palpable clunk on successful reduction. I write the time on his chest in Sharpie. I tape a popsicle to his hand and tell the patient to suck but do not bite/chew. I write "1 x popsicle (10g sugar)" on his chest in Sharpie.

I reassess the patient after performing interventions then package the patient for handoff to daycare/higher level of care. I yell at daycare over the Blackhawk in my head: "21 month old male!!! Nursemaids elbow!!! Treated with supination/flexion technique at 1215!!! Patient has 1 x popsicle onboard!!"

Daycare: "sir please leave."

Me: "you should have called my wife."

[Vivian @suchnerve]

The ancient texts…

[Chonzo (COMMISSIONS OPEN) @chonzodraws]

The character that can time travel doing this….

[may⋆°꩜｡ @flaner_may]

la philosophie n'est peut être pas morte au final