MrDasherDave

For all your Random Silliness and Serious Randomness

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

"I'M BACK".
Before you get too excited, let me clarify:
1. No, it's not 1995
2. I didn't just take a year off Twitter to go play baseball
3. No, I'm not Michael Jordan

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

I hear chocolate!

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

If ever there was a tweet to put a smile on your face, this isn't it! Sorry...

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

HERE IS WHAT I THINK OF TRUMP AS PRESIDENT! #TRUMP

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

Haha fantastic April Fools Joke America! OK, seriously now, who is your new president? Oh crap, it's November!!! #TRUMP

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

America's first black president is being followed by America's first orange president. Go figure. #TRUMP #FakeTan

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

Remember when auto tune had something to do with getting your car fixed??

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

A chandelier made from Yamaha R1 motorcycles (with their headlights turned on, duh! See, I've already thought this one through). #IdeasMan

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

How bad of a rider do you have to be to install a reversing camera on a motorcycle?!? #JustSawThis

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

Just ordered hot chips & drink, the guy pressed 28 register buttons! Either he's bored or I just ordered enough to feed all of NZ thru 2019!

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

Only read this tweet after some celebratory after work Friday night drinks...your future intoxicated self may then consider this funny!

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

I've got 99 Facebook notifications, but a friend ain't one!

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

The only time of year it is socially acceptable to eat chocolate for breakfast! #Easter2016

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

If anyone ever asks you what year it is, they are clearly a time traveller!

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

If Trump becomes President, I'm moving to Mars to help Matt Damon grow potatoes!!

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

Thank you Google, for ruining my brain!

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

People continue to finance Sacha Baron Cohen films? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD? Oh, right, people keep financing Sacha Baron Cohen films!!

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

On behalf of all the singles in the world, there's something I'd like to say. "Valentine's Day, go to hell, we hate you!" OK, I feel better.

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

#Deadpool ?? More like #Deadcool @VancityReynolds You sir are the 8th wonder of the world!

[MrDasherDave @MrDasherDave]

It must be done...Chimichanga's for breakfast, lunch and dinner today!! #Deadpool