Keith Geiger

Amateur Lion Rodeo Captain

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

5 year old: What is a cowboys favorite cereal?

Me: I don’t know. What?

Him: Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Me: I don’t get it

Him: It’s not a joke

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

If you really think about it, ketchup is kind of weird and gross. Tomato based sugary sauce slathered on everything.

So my advice is not to think about it ever. Just go about your life. Wake up, have French fries, go to sleep. Live your life. Don’t think about KETCHUP! EVER!

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

Public Service Announcement: Ramen bowls are just wheat noodles in broth. Okay? Cool

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

Birds would be a lot cooler if they could whisper.

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

My favorite style of white corn tortilla chips is probably restaurant.

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

Sometimes I’ll be standing for 7 or 8 minutes and think to myself, “boy I need to sit down for a while.”

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

Me: Ok, bedtime. Go upstairs and brush your teeth and get ready for bed please.

My 7 year old: remember that time at dinner when I farted for a minute straight?

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

The kids’ rooms need a new coat of paint.

Me: What color they would you like?

“A picture of you with your shirt off on the ceiling.”

“Blood dripping down the walls with stars that symbolize the sacrifices that had to be made.”

Me: Um, how about a light green?

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

I look back fondly on my summer breaks. All the neighborhood kids and I would ride our bikes around, catch frogs, teach them how to speak, sew little outfits for them, make them get jobs, and use their earnings to buy ice cream.

Such an innocent time.

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

Just once in my life I’d like to walk into a room and have everyone applaud me for having single-handedly successfully saved earth by destroying an intergalactic alien death armada intent on enslaving humanity.

Just once.

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

Things are really looking up!

Lots of things; satellite dishes, birdwatchers, flowers

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

I think a funny prank would be to wait until someone is laying quietly on a hammock, then sneak underneath and poke them with a sharp stick. When they fumble around and fall on the ground and see you under, say “wow, you’re really a klutz!”

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

Why are screens so expensive? It’s mostly air.

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

#Handles Poeltl 16 - 4/8 - 👤1

⬛⬛⬛⬛🟩🟨⬛⬛
⬛⬛🟩⬛🟩🟨🟨⬛
⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩🟨🟨🟨
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

“Look, I know you think one turtle dove is gonna be enough, but let me just tell ya, you’re gonna want two. They keep each other company. They squawk at each other. Trust me, you oughta get the two.”

-turtle dove salesman trying to upsell a customer

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

My love: “And if you’ll step this way, here we have 8 maids a milking.”

Me: “Uummmm… ok. That’s nice. Thank you-

“You don’t like it. I knew it”

“No, no it’s fine. I just wasn’t ex-“

“DO YOU KNOW HARD IT IS TO GET 8 COWS???!!!”

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

“Leap higher! Leap Higher! You call that leaping!!?? Cmon guys!”

- my true love, getting the lords ready

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

If I was in the NBA, I’d be sponsored by Sketchers.

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

Don’t tell anyone, but I haven’t gotten a Christmas tree or decorated anything yet.

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

The new Batman looks both dark AND gritty! Did NOT see that coming at all.

[Keith Geiger @MrEducationator]

Public Service Announcement:

The NBA starts on Tuesday and I am very excited!