Mr. Mister

Ancient sorcerer. The world’s greatest detective. spent a few hundred years as a tree. You’d like me better as a tree.

[Mr. Mister @MrMistereee]

https://t.co/oMNk1qWH5K

[Mr. Mister @MrMistereee]

@ComicFell His name is husky hog, and he’s more husky than hog…

[Mr. Mister @MrMistereee]

How many times you have an idea for a sci-fi action franchise, only to read it back and realize that it’s just Power Rangers fan-fic?

[Mr. Mister @MrMistereee]

Toll roads in Texas be like “yo gimme $20 and I’ll let you go 120 mph for the next ten minutes.” But they won’t build a bullet train.

[Mr. Mister @MrMistereee]

Harry Styles is being haunted by the ghost of Juan Gabriel’s suits.

[Mr. Mister @MrMistereee]

The log cabin republicans are a trip. The whole alignment reads like “Yes, we’re gay; but we’re also racist.”

[Mr. Mister @MrMistereee]

You ever wear flip flops with socks, and step around pretendin’ to be a Ninja Turtle?

[Mr. Mister @MrMistereee]

The straw hat is older than any god you could name, and it still exists today.

[Mr. Mister @MrMistereee]

@WeekesPrincess Facts! Duder was a big ‘ol farm boy that was as good in a fight as he was in a feast. You don’t need to do steroids for that physique.

[Mr. Mister @MrMistereee]

The dude sucked and his personal views on life and society align so well with white nationalism, that you’d swear Hitler adapted his shit directly from the guy.

[Mr. Mister @MrMistereee]

You get a real different perception of the guy when you read books about Teddy Roosevelt, than you do when you read books by Teddy Roosevelt. When you get his take on things, he sounds a lot like a giant piece of shit.

[Mr. Mister @MrMistereee]

Then after the subsequent victory in the Spanish American war, claiming their colonies in the Philippines; Teddy decided we were gonna keep it and started an unnecessary and bloody conflict to establish himself as the nations first multi continental colonial oppressor.

[Mr. Mister @MrMistereee]

Took a pretty nasty fall at work, and the very loud Scottish man that lives in the back of my mind shouted “AH GAHT BOONES STROONG ES ‘OOLRUS WHILLEH!!”

[Mr. Mister @MrMistereee]

@msabbyyn @yazminnd @Austin_Police Have you been able to find any updates?

[Mr. Mister @MrMistereee]

During the events of the blood beaver moon lunar eclipse, I found two dollars-forty cents in my coat pocket, and a lighter. A fortuitous omen for the blood beaver moon lunar eclipse.

[Mr. Mister @MrMistereee]

Defense contractors are wild cause they’re all vying for agreements like:

“Hell, we can blow up a school full of children for half of what you’re paying now!”

[Mr. Mister @MrMistereee]

The Scottish accent developed out of a habit the Scott’s had of speaking without removing the knife clenched in their teeth.