Mrs_Bruce_Science

🧬🔬Some people never meet their favourite scientists - I teach mine 🧪🔭

[Mrs_Bruce_Science @MrsBruceScience]

My exact expression when a student tells me they like my outfit or hair

[Deborah @WifeEyeSignal]

You have reached the School Children Song hotline

Press 1 to select Michael Finnegan
Press 2 to describe whiskers on his chinnegan
Press 3 to report that the wind blew them in again
Press the star key to begin again

[Mrs_Bruce_Science @MrsBruceScience]

@polydamnesther A thousand times yes

[Mrs_Bruce_Science @MrsBruceScience]

Some people regard the testes and penis as having essentially the same role when in fact there’s a vas deferens between the two

[Mrs_Bruce_Science @MrsBruceScience]

@perlhack How about losing your ability to pronounce words such as necessarily and ambulance; these two now become nessa-celery and ambliance.

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

“🎶You are the perfect jug, the perfect jug, the perfect ju…”

[Mrs_Bruce_Science @MrsBruceScience]

@benedictsred I was really disgusted at first because I thought it was the Tesla symbol

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

Your chances of being killed by an irrational number are low, but never zero.

[🇨🇦SueCorvette🇨🇦 ❎ @suecorvette]

the sun has two jobs -- after working all day, it moonlights

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

The coldest element might be Brrryllium.

[Ⓜ️isterD @MisterD78UK]

[firefighting school]
"Any questions before we begin"

Me: sooo... fighting fire with fire, science or myth?

[Geology Jokes @GeologyJokes]

Seismologists can never get a steady job

[Mrs_Bruce_Science @MrsBruceScience]

The moment he forgot the plural term for ovum, I knew it was ova

[Random (and Fake!) Trivia @RndmFakeTrivia]

The word “school” comes from the Greek “σχολή” (“scholí”) meaning “leisure time,” leading to curiosity about what the heck they're teaching in Greek schools.

[Spaceman Spliff @probe_uranus_]

Everyone has that one dense family member who's always attracting problems. But you love them anyway, because you're too close to them, and it warps your perception. That's called special relativity!

[Mrs_Bruce_Science @MrsBruceScience]

Today we’re going to investigate viscosity by comparing the rate at which different syrups treacle down a ramp

[Dr Pessimus Prime, rat edition 🐀 @BigJDubz]

But seriously, why are a bat and a robin paired together? They occupy entirely unconnected niches. It's highly unlikely their paths would cross, let alone with such a frequency that they would decide to solve crimes together

[Mrs_Bruce_Science @MrsBruceScience]

@Under1kContest Cheers!

[Mrs_Bruce_Science @MrsBruceScience]

Saturn is a gas planet,so if you could fit it in the bath, it would float - but that would probably leave a ring

[Mr Horse @ln0217]

Napoleon is short for Sodium Phosphate Oxide Leo Nitrogen

[numberjack @numberjack3]

Math Teacher: Today, we’re going to learn about the inverse matrix

Spoon: Actually, Keanu Reeves doesn’t exist