Matthew Tapawan

マット

[𝓓𝖗. 𝓥𝖔𝕏 𝓞𝖈𝖚𝖑𝖎 ᴹᴰ 👁️‍🗨️ @Vox_Oculi]

The manufacturing process of memory foam is problematic

[panda @kxreeda]

The most subtle flex from a director that you'll ever see

[𝕎.𝔻.𝔾 @Duartejo6]

the emphasis on the "BLACK one" always cracks me

[nina @robfilms_]

THIS EDIT ATE SO HARD 😭😭😭

[Auteur House @auteurhouse]

Robert Pattinson nailed Chris Hansen's voice in A24's PRIMETIME.

Here's a comparison with the real Chris Hansen.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I needed my lawn mowed. I asked an American for the name of a company.

He said, "Get a kid."

A kid. Not a service. A child.

I asked which kid.

"Any of 'em."

I asked where one obtains a kid. There is no directory. There is no listing.

He said, "Ask around."

I asked around. Two days later a fourteen year old named Cody was standing on my porch.

He did not bring a mower. Nobody told me this part. The kid uses your mower and your gas. He brings arms.

I asked his rate.

He said, "Whatever."

Whatever. A negotiation had opened and the other party declined to attend.

A blade drawn against no opponent must be returned to the sheath in silence.

I put my wallet away.

So I conducted research. I asked four adults what the correct amount was.

Four numbers. Twenty. Forty. Twenty five. One man said he gave a kid fifty once and could not remember why.

There is no rate. There has never been a rate. An entire national labor market runs with no published price and every participant is somehow satisfied.

I looked up the state minimum wage. I timed the work. I arrived at a defensible figure and I paid it.

My neighbor watched this from his driveway.

Later he came over and told me, kindly, that I had underpaid.

I said the amount exceeded the legal minimum.

He said, "Yeah, but he's a kid."

THE PRICE IS NOT THE PRICE. THE PRICE IS THE PRICE PLUS SOMETHING NO MAN ON THIS STREET WILL SAY OUT LOUD.

So I corrected. I overcorrected. Sixty dollars for forty minutes.

The same neighbor came back over.

"Alright. Don't ruin him."

There is a floor and there is a ceiling. Neither is written anywhere. Both are enforced by men standing in driveways with their arms folded.

The samurai who cannot read the room dies in the room.

I have been dying in this room since June.

Cody was thirsty. I did not offer him water, because he had not asked, and a warrior does not name another warrior's weakness.

My wife told me he is fourteen and it is ninety one degrees. I now leave a bottle on the step where he can take it without being seen taking it.

I asked my neighbor why the whole street does this. Why grown men pay a boy more than the work is worth and then pretend not to have noticed.

He said, "You're not buying a lawn."

Then he went inside, because apparently that was a complete explanation.

Cody has cut my grass eleven times. He is saving for a truck. I know the exact figure because he told me, unprompted, in August, sweating, holding my own mower.

Last week a family moved in three houses down. The man came over and asked if I knew anybody who cuts grass.

I said, "I got a kid."

I heard what that sounded like. I did not correct it.

He is nine hundred dollars from the truck.

A mountain is not asked to be smaller. A mountain is walked around, at night, quietly, by a man with a truck payment he intends to make on someone else's behalf.

I have started mentioning him to people.

[Quentin Tarantino Universe @TarantinoWorld]

first 4 mins: Dialogues Next 15 sec: everyone dies Classic Tarantino

[duck @ExtremeBlitz__]

when I hear the shower turn on after I said I was gonna shower 3 hours ago

[Josh Hart @joshhart]

I beg your pardon….HE DOES WHAT??

[Wavez ✦ @wavezmode]

Nigga got chased by😂😂

[SƬΞPH @BlitzDallas]

Dad, why did you name me - Devin Vassell Fuck You Dunk Game 7 - ????

[TotallyNotAlex @TotallyNoAlex]

me after choosing the lamelo ball neuralink

[Ramin Nasibov @RaminNasibov]

Me whenever the stars are visible

[Tori_ @Toribabieegirl]

Nobody declines a call faster than a four year old kid watching youtube

[.. @chaos2x]

white people when they make eye contact with a minority

[Bleacher Report @BleacherReport]

STILL NOT OVER THIS SHOT 😭

WHO WAS WEMBY FEELING LIKE??

[Dilip Jain ✨𝒟𝓙✨ @dilipjain077]

Little bro went from Harry Potter to Voldemort in 2 seconds 😭🪄

[char @govassignedgoth]

that one titan

[sports live tweeter yadira @jonmoxIeys]

how can jalen brunson be GOOD at basketball? hes SHORT and FAT and has a BIG HEAD? how does that make SENSE? also his asscheeks are HUGE?

[Hater Report @HaterReport]

No way man lmaooo. LeBron was asked about Texans DE Will Anderson Jr after the game:

“That’s my 4th child. Him and Bronny are twins and nobody knows it. Me and Savannah been trying to keep it under wraps for a long time.”

😂😂😂