M.T. Foyer

Songs are. Therefore, listen. BA Philosophy - MAE Science Teacher. Professional Amateur Comedian.

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

@BudrykZack @PFTompkins You could never make Blazing Saddles today. Most movies take at least a couple months to film and it’s already 9pm.

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

@PhilmerPhiI @JChavezMpls This looks amazing.

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

@rebeccawatson Iceberg? Those ain't cheap either.

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

@rebeccawatson Have you read Born Standing Up? I highly recommend it. It shows just how much hard work he put into his craft.

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

@judge_jen

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

@pulmyears Didn't Randy Newman want to join?

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

@JoshuaLWatson Numbers don't lie because they are the eternal forms that hold the cosmos together.

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

Meet your boo in jail about to battle a sea worm

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

Meet cutes in Rings of Power so far: #RingsOfPower
Girl stabs boy in leg
Hobbit jumps in dry ravine
Wizard gets swallowed by tree

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

@LauraGMitchell This was my commute for 2 years. I loved living just off the greenway.

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

Breaking News: JD Vance is a time-traveling snuffleupagus groomer who murders nursing home members with fat burritos of glitter and glass to draw attention to the suffering of Trump's poll numbers.

[Mike Nellis @MikeNellis]

JD Vance should never be booked on another cable news show after admitting Trump world completely fabricated the hoax about Haitian migrants in Ohio eating cats and dogs. What a shocking admission on live TV.

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

I've had this question nagging me for years: how do people have money for stuff?

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

@tmbg I bought this CD with my OWN MONEY in middle school. I had around 6 CDs at 10 cassettes total at the time, so this was very formative for my musical taste. Used to play along with the album on my drum set too. Big thanks to you, @tmbg

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

@rebeccawatson Those fancy plants think they're better than you and me.

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

A lot of people avoid pain, but I find pain and struggle builds character and grit. That's why I eat the end slices of loaves of bread. #alphamale

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

When Lazarus died the second time, his buddies all said in comedic sitcom unison, "Here we go again!" (freeze frame, roll credits)

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

Some people are into heavy metal, but I've stopped eating lead and I've never felt better.

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

Parenting is wild. I asked a parents forum a simple question and I got back so many disperate answers: "You're a moron!" "My God! What is wrong with you?" "You should not have children, you psycho!" I just wanted to know how many dirty stones my toddler should be eating each day.

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

@JoshuaLWatson But who or what is this "I" you speak of?

[M.T. Foyer @MTFoyer]

@blaireerskine Watch the Adventures of Paddington show as well. Season 1 & 2 are my new religion.