Samson “The Matador” Murchison

LION | Sales Coach | Titan Of Industry | Financial Sea Monster | Authenticity Ambassador | CRE Expert | Founder Of The Murchison Approach

[Samson “The Matador” Murchison @MurchisonSamson]

Nothing beats a good ol post workout #fatshame.

[Hunter (Let's hop on a quick 5 min call) @huntercoldcalls]

Just got off a call with my friend Billy

He and his wife are going through a tough time right now with some blog trying to write mean stuff about him

He asked me for my advice in dealing with it

"Hunter, I have always looked up to you as a mentor," he said. "What should we do?"

I sat back in my WeWork office chair (I can comfortably afford a dedicated desk at WeWork, so I don't work in the open area with all the slobs)

"Billy, here's what I'd do," I told him in my sexy sales voice that I use to close billion dollar deals.

"Tune out the haters. Head to your shower right now and turn it to the absolute coldest temperature you can. Then get in and soak in that frigid cold water,"

He didn't reply, but I could hear that he was crying.

"Hunter. Thank you for always believing in me."

The tears were flowing. I could actually hear them clunking against the marble floors in his bathroom as the shower turned on.

I told him I loved him and hung up the phone.

Then I checked my email.

Billy had sent me $1,000,000,000 for the phone call (double my standard rate for a consulting call)

Thank you for the generous tip, Mr. Ackman. I love you.

[Hunter (Let's hop on a quick 5 min call) @huntercoldcalls]

Santa delivered 🎅Best Christmas gift ever

[Samson “The Matador” Murchison @MurchisonSamson]

@slcpd Glad you guys are valuing what’s really important!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Floor Boss @BurntCobainx]

Women from my hometown somehow think their 3k followers and “bad bitch” IG feed is equal to the value that a millionaire young man provides.
Reality check: you post pictures in $15 outfits from Shein (one of my clients) and you don’t even show ass.

[Samson “The Matador” Murchison @MurchisonSamson]

An employee of mine asked if we’d ever be open to a hybrid WFH model… Scott, why would you want to see more of your fat, miserable wife?

Need you in office 5 days a week, hotshot!

Man I feel bad for this guy.

#BossLife #ImACelebrity

[Samson “The Matador” Murchison @MurchisonSamson]

@FatRatCowboy I don’t mind at all

[Barmelo Xanthany @BigBarmelo]

Life got twisted when we lost the middle class

#wheremycountrygone

[Barmelo Xanthany @BigBarmelo]

Got my greens for the night, best believe I’m taking a qweeb! #whatitdo

[Samson “The Matador” Murchison @MurchisonSamson]

“Thank god for the gym”

Bro you’re 26 and unemployed

[Barmelo Xanthany @BigBarmelo]

Thursday lines changed the dynamic of the weekend

[Floor Boss @BurntCobainx]

Can someone please keep me in the loop on when we will be burning the city down and robbing the local Louis Vuitton store ? I don’t want to miss out this time with the holiday season approaching ! #BlackFriday

[Barmelo Xanthany @BigBarmelo]

To the fat chick rigging my line I’m not gonna fuck you that chapter of my life is over…

[Floor Boss @BurntCobainx]

Back at the Alma Mater for the weekend. Tap in

[Alfred “The Machine” Brown @Al_Brown313]

First legal drink. Let’s ride

[Samson “The Matador” Murchison @MurchisonSamson]

Not entirely sure how to express myself with the low number of character’s I’ve been allotted. Enjoy!

[Samson “The Matador” Murchison @MurchisonSamson]

Type of shit I’ve been on

[Samson “The Matador” Murchison @MurchisonSamson]

What do your wife’s vagina and China have in common?

They both shake with excitement at the thought of me. Happy fucking Monday.

#Palestine

[Samson “The Matador” Murchison @MurchisonSamson]

Just got off the phone with China. The irons hot. It’s time to strike. #BOOM #ILOVEMONDAYS

[Samson “The Matador” Murchison @MurchisonSamson]

Last night, a woman refused to give me a blowjob, one of my god given rights.

Her college health professor told her giving oral can lead to throat cancer.

THIS IS THE TWISTED LIBERAL AGENDA THEY’RE PUSHING IN UNIVERSITIES. WAKE UP AMERICA!!!